~A~LOVE~SUPREME's posts with tag: respect
Greetings my good people of Multiply and 360! I wanna throw a true story out to the masses and in turn get some open and honest feedback… We have a couple who has lots of history… they were college sweethearts, who eventually moved on and married others… one marriage ends in divorce(her), and the other is in the midst of a long term separation(him) where divorce it imminent… Chance brings them back together… and I say “chance” because they are both from the Great State of Texas, and due to work, and family they both ended up on the East Coast in the same TRI-State area… YEARS have gone by, and the male calls the female to simply wish her a Happy Mother’s day, only to find out that they are living in the SAME area… an instant re-connection is made, and a new chapter begins… During the process of picking up where they left off, they are introduced to swinging… boundaries have been set, and everyone is respectful of each others limitations… they attend an area club on a semi regular basis, and have attended a few private lifestyle parties… The couple experiences the normal growing pains that relationships go thru… and as with all relationships, they learn from the issues and continue to grow… Everything is flowing for a good 18 to 24 months… suddenly the female gets a call from another female… dude lies his way thru this distraction, and states that ole girl is out of the picture, and has been out of the picture for some time… but knowing women the way that I know women… Most women will not call the other woman unless they are at their wits end, and need to know where the situation is heading… dude pretty much; sweeps the situation under the rug, and all is well, after the outsider has verbally agreed to NOT contact the girlfriend or him again… They survive this major relationship violation, and continue growing, learning, loving and swinging…. Months go by, and a reliable 3rd party gets word that the male half of the duo was in attendance at a local party WITHOUT his significant otha… instead, he’s at the party with another woman… Dude is confronted with all the evidence… you see dudes other female friend, has a page on a local swing groups site… this is an invite only site, that the girlfriend has managed to become a member of… the main pic on the site, has dude and the chick all bunned up, appearing as a couple… the comments clearly state that dude and his otha girlfriend are regulars at this groups functions… now, dude is sooo crafty that he has convinced his girlfriend that when they aren’t together, he is ‘studying’… he’s studying alright: New Ass 101… Here’s the clincher… dude and girlfriend had a planned weekend, one that involved a road trip… but, dude swiftly invites girlfriend on a business trip, where they hang out, and do what couples do… she comes home a few days earlier, goes back to work, and prepares for the upcoming weekend get-a-away… Suddenly dude can’t go! Ya know why? He needs to STUDY! Girlfriend goes on her planned weekend trip with friends, and low and behold, one week later girlfriend finds out that not only was he NOT studying, but he was at the lifestyle party with girlfriend number 2… dude is confronted, and he doesn’t really deny the shit, but, he refuses to come clean AT ALL… instead, he does this reverse psychology bullshit, and goed into some major deflecting… and instead of coming cleaning, he decides the relationship is over, because she pretty much is taking other folks word over his… but, lets keep in mind that girlfriend has in ya face proof, not to mention a reliable source… This is the VERY short version to a VERY long story… a story of sex, love and swinging… I gave you enough to hopefully inspire a comment… My questions are simple: What provokes a man to cheat, when he’s in a swingers relationship? Is there no loyalty amongst swingers? Is it hard to be straight with your significant other? “Babe, I ran into the baddest sista that I’d love US to experience”
More importantly, when you've been busted, and ya shit is on the table... why NOT fess up?
The bottom-line, is this: we all know that men and women cheat for various reasons, but in my opinion, cheating in a swingers relationship, is unacceptable! If you’re offered the buffet, why creep with the appetizer? when the main course can be shared... (ok that was silly, but you get the point)...
my thoughts ar simple: RESPECT! dude didn't respect my friend nor the relationhsip enough to be upfront with her, or with himself - when the respect is NOT there, and the TRUST has been destroyed, what's left?
…there was a time when I felt so little of myself that I “fucked for sport”…  when I would fuck a man just for the sake of fuckin him… no rhyme no reason, just fucking…. Maybe I thought he would be my boyfriend, or my husband… maybe I thought he would like me more… one day I realized that the ones that I just voluntarily gave my good pussy to were the same ones I never heard from again… unless they were in need of another no strings attached fuck… funny thing is they wanted NO strings, but deep down, I wanted strings, rings, and some mo’ shit… but, I never admitted that! See, I told myself, that I enjoyed being single and free, and part of me did… but I don’t care what any woman says, when she was girl, she dreamed of her fairy tale wedding, maybe as she grew older the reality of life settled in and the dream of the fairy tale faded away… no matter what, you still had that dream! …as a sexual being, it’s easy to fall into the “fuckin for sport” mode… you justify it by saying, “I’m a sexual being” but, I found myself wondering if being “sexual” meant I had to throw my pussy to any willing and able participant? Of course not! But, that came with mental growth… I used sex as a armor, when I was sad, I’d fuck, when I was unhappy I’d fuck, hell when I was happy I’d fuck, when I was drunk I’d fuck, when I was blunted up, I’d fuck… and when I was bored I’d fuck… Boredom can be a bitch, trust and believe it can set a bitch up! lol …one day, I took at look at myself in the mirror, and truth be told i didn’t like the woman I was becoming… more than anything, I had a hard time looking at myself and then looking in my daughters eyes who at the time was a 15 year old girl, the realization was that I was her role model, and how could I expect her to live to a higher standard, when I was running around like a well dressed slut? I mean really, the apples, really doesn’t fall far from the tree… the cycle had to be broken… …so here I am still very much a sexual woman, but a very selective woman… as much as I enjoy being sexed, and sexing, I honestly feel that my pussy is made of gold… because I have grown as a woman, I know how powerful it is, but most importantly, I realize the power of the mind fuck, which really is the BEST fuck…. …today, I’m a selective freak, if you can’t stimulate me mentally, you will no penetrate me physically… if I pick up NO sexual chemistry, I will not waste a minute of my precious time getting to know you… some may think that’s a fucked up way of thinking… maybe it is, but I refuse to waste my time on worthless people, or people who don’t hold “ME” in high regard… So, here I am today, a woman who loves to fuck, who loves to sit back and reflect on her days of fuckin for sport, and a woman who enjoyed every moment of her whorish ways… the beauty of it all is that I can now look back on all that, and realize that I am much better woman today because of my experiences! Granted, I still got my issues, but finally I’m comfortable in my own skin… I wonder how many women can say that they are “comfortable in their own skin”, and MEAN it? …so, this blog is for all my girls who “fuck for sport”… may the day come that you realize that, you are much better than that!
 Last week, I found myself reaching out to some family friends regarding my current employment situation, or lack there of... In doing so, I find myself in the middle of some deep conversation with an old lover... He reached out, and we’ve been chatting every since... Now, he’s married, and due to the fact that I have sworn off of married men, and men who are otherwise engaged, I have NO intention of having sexual relations with him... But, and there’s always a BUT, I’m MAD curious...
He was always a great lover, but I can’t help but wonder what he’s like today! And of course I’d love to show him how much I’ve grown as a person, a woman, and a sexual being... See, the girl he knew was a wet behind the ears 20 year old with a vivid imagination but not a lot of experience, and now 20 years later, I’m on some grown woman succubus, chew’em up spit’em out kinda shit.... The thrill of throwing the pussy on him one good time is eating me ALIVE... But then reality sets in, and I get back on track.... Plus, I got my eyes on someone who is very single, very obtainable... Any who, I tend to keep men from my past, in the past... But every so often I run into someone that I’m very curious about... I can’t help but wonder if the loving is as good as it use to be... because of some bad experiences with past beau’s I have learned to keep their asses in the past, but every so often someone from back in the day reappears, and I just wanna see! You know how the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back! My ass is so damn curious, I’ve been visualizing the act, setting the mental stage in my mind as to how I want it to go down... *smh* My last ex boyfriend experience was with my daughters father... He had come home from the Persian Gulf, he was having martial problems, and he was not in a good place... we started hanging out, and one thing lead to another, and we did the nasty! And boy was it a waste of my damn time... It was awful! The interesting thing was that when we were high school sweet hearts, he was the best thing since sliced bread... The sex was awesome... Now granted I was all of 16, and when we hooked up I was all of 30 something, and I was on some new shit, but damn, I at least expected a firework or two... It was SAD... So today’s blog is a simple question to you the people! Do u tend to let the past stay in the past? Or will you revisit on occasion? Have u ever slipped n’ dipped with a person from your past and regretted it? Or was it well worth revisiting? I need to know! And for the record, I am not gonna fuck this dude, but I will tease him with my crazy ass stories, and wicked thoughts! All’s fair in mental sex play, right?
 â¦whatâÂÂs up peeps! A sista is sooo feelin herself today, and thought IâÂÂd post a lil something-somethin in an effort to wipe yesterdayâÂÂs slate clean⦠I mean, it is a new day and allâ¦
â¦before I move on to my questionâÂÂs, IâÂÂmma give you all a quick follow up to yesterdayâÂÂs drama⦠after leaving work, I stopped at my local police station and as a pre-caution, I filed a report⦠the sergeant (and what a cute sergeant he was!) contacted Papi, and I would say itâÂÂs safe to say he will NOT be contacting anymore⦠I gotta tell ya, I was on a fuckin cloud yesterday, and I let my girlfriend talk me into checkin my cell phone messages to see what he was up too, the moment I checked those messages was the moment my day went to shit⦠but, what was done had to be done⦠for the record, I am not about the destruction of family⦠I am and will always be the one who will give you enough rope to hang yourself⦠I gave him plenty of rope, buy askin him to back off for weeks, fuck it monthsâ¦he hung him self, and I had to do what I had to do, of course he will NEVER see it that way, but oh well, he has his own way of thinking⦠trust and believe it fucks with me to involve wifey, but enough was enough, and this too shall pass⦠and they will recover, cause she loves her man!
â¦lets talk bi-sexuality!
â¦aight, I find myself a tad curious about women and bi-sexuality⦠now we have some who embrace it, name it and claim it, without an issue⦠then we have those who are closet bi-sexual⦠then you have the ones like me, who embrace it, but donâÂÂt necessarily brag about it⦠some may wonder what I mean when I say that⦠see, for me I am comfortable with my bi-sexuality, however my close friends and family arenâÂÂt aware of my bi-sexuality⦠now, my friends know I swing on occasion, and they also know that I have participated in a threesome or two, or three in the past few years.. now if they were smart theyâÂÂd be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together⦠deep down they probably think and know IâÂÂm Bi, but just arenâÂÂt bold enough to inquire⦠if they asked, IâÂÂd have NO problem telling them, now at one time, yes, I woulda been like OH HELL NO⦠but, that was only because I hadnâÂÂt wrapped my brain around the idea of being bi-sexualâ¦
â¦so where am I goin with this? well, my âÂÂfor my girlsâ blog got me thinking⦠I have several 360 female friends who arenâÂÂt bi-sexual, but I think they would be more than comfortable being in an all girl sex filled arena⦠my question is does that make them, open-minded, borderline bi-curious, or simply a voyeur?
â¦my next question is for my swingers⦠particularly my married/attached female swingers⦠now I need help with this⦠if you swing, and your married, and your straight, are you not engaging with females at all? Are your husband and or significant other indulging with females and you watch? Or is it the type of situation where you allow the females to play with you, but you do not reciprocate in kind?
â¦lastly, for my straight females⦠out of curiosity, I have this simple question for you... some of you have been around my pages for the past two years⦠you know how I roll, and how graphic some of my blogs can be⦠at one time, I was just a name, and nothing but, tits, clit, pussy, ass, and lips⦠now, I know some of yawl saw those damn pictures, and read those damn blogs, and I know it made you tingle, now I could be wrong, and for real some of yawl will read this shitt, and not respond AT ALL, either in the comment section or private message⦠my question to you is this, although it âÂÂmightâ make you tingle, does it concern you that it may make cause such a reaction? For my straight girls, do you feel that your open minded enough to explore the possibilitiesâ if the opportunity presented itself? Bottom-line, you gotta be open-minded to read some of the shit post!
â¦talk to me peeps, I am mad curious about thisâ¦. You know, I knock know one, to each his own⦠I can like you, want you, desire you, and wanna feel you up, but at the end of the day, if itâÂÂs not your thing; IâÂÂm not the one to make it your thing⦠I just wanna clear understanding of how we see bi-sexuality⦠is there such thing as borderline bi-sexuality? and lastly, at what point does a woman stop saying sheâÂÂs bi-curious, and she is either bi or not?
â¦for me, I am BI, and proud of itâ¦. IâÂÂm the kinda girl who craves the touch of a woman on a rare occasion, typically three times a year, weird but true! Truth be told, the female itch is here as we speak, and yes got dammit I need to get it scratched! Any who. I have been BI for sometime now... I started out bi-curious as we all start out, and after the 3rd encounter I realized that the curious needed to be dropped⦠my way of thinking is this: the 1st time was experimental, a way of determining if the interest was genuine, the 2nd encounter I was less nervous and had a true to desire to be intimate with a woman, the 3rd encounter I was hooked⦠the flesh of my flesh against her flesh compared to no other sexual encounter⦠and it was time to stop saying: Bi-Curious!
Talk to me peeps⦠if you are ashamed, or feel this is a private matter that you donâÂÂt mind discussing with Ms. Teal, then hit me via a private messageâ¦. Trust your secret is safe with me, those who know me, know that I am not down with the 360 drama, only my own personal drama, lawd knows I got enough of that shitâ¦.
*muah*
 ...first and foremost, letâÂÂs take a pause for the papi, and me cause! ...man, what a journey this has been, and finally in my heart, my mind, my soul, I am finally at the end of this journey! Now, yawl know I havenâÂÂt written about him in some time... And truth be told there hasnâÂÂt been much to write about, IâÂÂve only seen him twice in the last 3months, and our conversations have slowed down drastically... And during this time, weâÂÂve gone thru our usual back n forth... Splittin up, kinda comin back together dance... Him makin promises and me at this point, waiting for him to not come thru... lol! ItâÂÂs funny, but now, I look back and I wonder what kept me there?... I mean really why do women subject themselves to men who are not about the business of being about us? What is that, is it fear, loneliness, esteem issues?... I canâÂÂt figure it out... ...any who, this is my final entry into my papi journal, somethin I need to do! For those of you that have been on this ride with me, I hope youâÂÂll understand that this blog was done as a form of closure, and trust and believe me when I tell you, that I have finally closed this door! ...I would like to think that my eyes have always been open during this fling... I may have had a lil tunnel vision, but, they were wide open! I new within 3 months what type of person he was, and that this situation would always be about him, regarding face time, quality time, and overall couple related shit... Now, knowing what I was dealing with, me as a woman, had hoped that his love and desire to be with me, would change all of this, and that eventually something would materialize! And when I say materialize, I donâÂÂt mean him leaving his wife, IâÂÂm not that stupid! Men, marry women for a reason, and itâÂÂs not to divorce them! Always believe that ladies, they will never leave wifey for you, and if they do, they will do to you what they did to wifey... But, what I mean by materializing is us actually doin things outside of the bedroom, and talkin 20 times a day... catchinâ a movie, goin on a date, goin on an outtin, and not on the regular, fuck it, heâÂÂs married. I realized, that things couldnâÂÂt happen on the regular, but I expected an effort to be made on occasion... In a time span of 19 months this man and I never gone on a formal date, never broke bread together at a dinner table, never enjoyed a movie together, no planned activity what so ever... However, we did meet for drinks here nâ there... Truth be told, his inability to make things such as this happen, is really why he and I are over... Of course, heâÂÂll say somethin else, but trust me on this... ItâÂÂs his inability to make shit happen, and his inability to acknowledge when he was unable to make somethin happen, that really ended this... Which to me, bottom line is: lack of respect for me, and my basic need... He sayâÂÂs, IâÂÂm trippin, regarding the respect thing, but ummm, I donâÂÂt think so! IâÂÂm simply asking you to extend a common courtesy, and you think so little of me that you canâÂÂt do that.. That tells me you donâÂÂt respect me... Simple as that... ... in April papi and I got into one of our arguments, name calling, hurtful things etc... and during that time he made comments stating that I fuck whoever, wherever, whenever, " I spread my pussy like jam"... And for some reason, that shit really hurt me, I mean I was crushed that this man thought of me in this manner... I mean damn, he says he loves me, and heâÂÂs in love me, and you think so little of me? The hurt was to the point that during a 2 to 3 day period, I was in tears over it... And it hurt, because ItâÂÂs not me... I mean, I write all this shit, I love to fuck, I love to go to swing spots etc... but that shit does not happen on the regular, I am very conservative with my shit, because at the end of the day, I know what it is a seek, I have never lost sight of my ultimate goal, even while being involved with him... And I also no that I got the kinda pussy that canâÂÂt be thrown any mans way, folks get hooked, and I need to make sure they can handle it! Lol... But seriously, my days of fuckin for sport have been over for sometime, IâÂÂm lookin for a connection deeper than the fuck! And yes, I stepped out side of us on occasion, and he was well aware of this and encouraged it, and even enjoyed hearing about it... It shattered me to hear this man to say that I was out there spreading my pussy around like it was "jam"... I was hurt... And that was the beginning of the end... ...off and on over the months we âÂÂd talk, and it would be on again, off again, the story of us... During the off periods, the arguments, and the nastiness would start, and more and more he would say more off the wall shit about me... HeâÂÂd call and if I didnâÂÂt answer, heâÂÂd leave a message stating that I must be "out spreading the jam"... "Get your groove on, call me"... The more IâÂÂd hear the spreading the jam comment, the more numb I became to him as a person and his words... ...I started lookin at him, and this for what it was... This was a relationship that was all about him, and serving his need.... Being his ear when he needed, his fuck when he desired it, and at the end of the day, it was all about him.. Now, IâÂÂve always known this, and have always told him, "this is all about you", but he would deny it of course and say:, itâÂÂs about us! Ok... Show me... Any who... A few weeks ago in another heated argument, he admitted to me: "itâÂÂs about me Teal", now, IâÂÂve known and IâÂÂve felt it, but to actually hear it.... Whew damn, talk about your wake up calls! When he said that, I had my second awakening, and since then, IâÂÂve been having moments of clarity... But in that moment, with those words: "itâÂÂs about me Teal", Everything began to change... It was as if a light switch was turned on... the feelings started to disappear, the love began to fade, the want, and the need to be with him began to float away, but more than anything that desire to feel him inside me lessened... It got to a point that I looked forward to him to saying these things, to further insert his emotional dagger, it was as if I was testing myself... Making sure I was really done with this.... Then, once again, I found myself back in his make believe world, giving him another chance... We were cordial, making plans to hook up when wifey left town, and once again, he said, letâÂÂs meet for lunch, and, and no call, no lunch, no I canâÂÂt make it! Nothing... Same ole shit, different day.. And once again, I announce, IâÂÂm done... He goes into his shit, I send a few "IâÂÂm done emails", and he starts again.. All the nastiness, and the ugliness and the name calling, and all followed up with the I love you, and you complete me, and I need you in my life... And him tellin me that I donâÂÂt understand... Whatever that means! And finally I realized that yes, I was finally over this man... ...over the nxt few days, I began to give he and I a lot of thought... I wondered with all the things that had happened over the past year alone, why I still took his calls... Now I ignore a great deal of his calls now days cuz they have no substance what so ever... But I was still taking the calls, in givng it considerations, I realized that this man can no longer hurt me, cuz I no longer love him... He can no longer have a sexual hold over me, because he lost his mental grip over me... The mental game is a strong game, when you give into a man mentally, he becomes your everything, he becomes, the only one who can satisfy you, the one you crave... I realized that I no longer craved him, but more than anything, I began to question if I was ever really sexually satisfied, and overall yes I was... But it still wasnâÂÂt what I wanted and needed, it was more of him meeting his need and want... Like he said, "itâÂÂs about me Teal"... He never gave into my desires, he never really fulfilled me sexually the way I thought he did, in the end, it was his head game, that got him over... Funny what revelations can do, we have when weâÂÂre finally wide awake! ...over the past few days, we have been having a negative exchange of words... which were really stemming from my soiree at Tabu, now, what I have never gotten is this, a man can encourage you to do your thing, wanna hear about what you did, and but when itâÂÂs all said and done they wanna throw it in your face, and suddenly, your "out there" He told me in short that he doesnâÂÂt and will never do things with me, because: "I realized that I canâÂÂt be with a woman who sleeps with whatever man or woman passes her by", and then one final time, he confirmed in the same conversation: "itâÂÂs about me Teal"... ...that was Tuesday nite, I hung up that phone knowing this was OVER! He was right, and I finally got it, it was and always will be about him... And the moment I hung up that phone I new it was now "ALL ABOUT ME"! ...love is funny yawl you can feel like your on top of the world, willing to sacrifice it all, for the one you love... I have pretty much put my love life on hold for this man, stopped dating, not really willing to pursue anything of substance cause I was all caught up in Rani! Then, you realize, this person isnâÂÂt sacrificing shit for you... Your eyes begin to open after while you realize that you want, and need, and desire so much more than what someone elses husband can give you... But more than anything you realize that love, shouldnâÂÂt HURT! ...so folks, after all the blogs, many lows and few highs, this from my perspective is finally over! It took sometime, a lot tears, and a great deal of pain, but I walked away gracefully, and I walked away a much better woman because of this experience, more than anything, I walked confirming that with love comes respect, and if a man doesnâÂÂt respect you, he really canâÂÂt love you, in the truest form of the word! ...know one man is worth your heart, if he is unwilling to show you his heart! Thank you all for takin this journey with me... the rantâÂÂs, the raves, the lows, and the few highs, thank you! Your words and encouragement to move on, helped in more ways then you could ever imagine!
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