~A~LOVE~SUPREME's posts with tag: ramblins
 Last night I found myself watching nightline, actually its something I watch every night, damn I miss Ted Koppel… any who last nights show caught every bit of my attention… Cynthia McFadden was the reporter, and also is adopted… pretty much it revolved around a woman who had a sickly son, her son had a rare from of cancer… her son is now in remission, but the doctors suggested researching her bloodline… in an effort to save her son, she started her mission… she hired a woman who’s also adopted who has perfected the art of finding the natural parents of adopted children…
After a lil internet searching, the woman was able to find the agency that her client was placed in… the client (the adopted woman) goes in, and gets some basic information… her mom was young, a teacher, and she had had an affair with a young man and ended up pregnant… because this all took place forty years ago, the woman felt she had no choice but to give the child up for adoption… she was also catholic, so having a child out of wedlock was a big no-no, till this day it’s a no-no, but back then, you were sure to become an automatic outcast… so, the woman obains preliminary info from the agency and immediately shares the info with the woman she hired to assist her in her search… the woman immediately goes to the internet and finds the mom… She’s a retired teacher, appears to be stable… now, the woman from the agency suggested that she write a letter, where are the woman she hired to help her suggested calling her… I’m not sure how I feel about calling… If I were fortunate enough to locate my natural mother, I would most likely write a letter… After several hours of coaching, the adopted woman calls her natural mom, and although you couldn’t hear the conversation, you could tell that the woman was NOT happy about her calling, and interrupting her life… all you could hear was her repeated apologies… she told her natural mom that she loved her, and she also thanked her for giving her up for adoption as he has had a happy life and had some awesome parents… I guess the woman responded, and she told her that she was stable and she was not looking to cause her harm, she then went into the situation with her son, and began to inquire about the family medical history, and she ended the call by thanking her and giving the natural mother her phone number… The call ends, and then Cynthia McFadden began to ask questions about the call… the woman stated that the natural mom was 70 years old, and she had grown children, and she also told her hat no one knew, not her husband, not her kids, NO ONE… and that was the end of that… The segment ended with Cynthia McFadden following up with her 8 months later… and she had NOT heard form her birth mother… man, I lost it! I cried, and cried, and cried some more… then I called my mom and she cried… it was an emotional moment for Ms Teal… my mom has ALWAYS been supportive of my finding my borht parents, my dad on the other hand was oppsed to it… the interesting thing is that he could have made one call, and the search coulda ended, but it never happened… I guess he had his reasons… There was a time that I actively searched for my birth mom, thousands of dollars later nothing… it was always an off and on kind of search… the thing that would always get me would be those damn Sally Jesse Raphael reunion shows, and also Oprah’s reunion shows.. They always put me in search mode… Last night’s nightline confirmed my biggest fear… WHAT IF THEY DON’T WANT TO KNOW ME? Another damn rejection… it’s interesting as much as I’d like to see who I look like, and how many siblings I may have, and If I have a big family I’m always concerned about the rejection… The story ended with the pending laws that are being passed in various states, with Maine being the first… sometime in the near future, the state of Maine will begin opening adoption records… something as simple as a written letter will put folks such as myself that much closer to their birth parents… WOW! As much as it excites me, it still scares me… I can only hope that I will be afforded the opporuntity to place my eyes on my birth mother before I die… What do you think? Do you think that adopted children should be able to see adoption records? Do you think it’s fair for the birth parent to suddenly open the door, and the kid they gave away some 40 odd years ago is there waiting to receive them with open arms? Or do you think the kids should just get over it and accept the fact they will forever be left with a void, a feeling of NOT belonging? This is some deep stuff! Some of you will not understand what the big deal is, because you aren’t adopted and you know your natural parents… but then there are those few who will truly understand where I’m coming from, because you are adopted, and you know how it feels to live life feeling like something’s missing… For me, it’s a matter of having a connection, knowing who I look like, and most importantly knowing where I come from… hell, I want to know where this 38dd’s come from! lol
 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yup, especially in Ledo’s Steak n’ Blue Cheese Salad…. YUMMO!
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Not that I know of! NO silly… 3. Do you own a gun? Nope, not unless you consider my vibrator a GUN... 4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? Man, u want some Sonic! Brings back memories of those hot summers in Oklahoma… Cherry Lime Aid’s are the BOMB! 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Only the OB/GYN… not knowing your family medical history will do that to a sista… 6. What do you think of hot dogs? Great on the grill, and not so bad on my George Foreman… 7. Favorite Christmas movie? Anything none Christmassy… 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? A good cup of coffee, and a glass of ice water… 9. Can you do push ups? Can i? and a split! lol 11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My tiffany necklace that my daddy gave me, that I rarely take off… makes me feel like he’s with me! 12. Favorite hobby? Masturbating…. 14. Do you have A.D.D? On Monday, Wednesdays, and Sundays! 15. What's one trait you hate about yourself? That I won’t take life changing risks… 16. Middle name? Ellen… shut up! 17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Money, Sleep, and MORE Money… 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday? A painting to match my NEW stools… A Ledo’s Deluxe with Bacon, and Gas for the gas guzzler… 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Coke, and Passion Tea Lemonade w/ 12 pumps! 20. Current worry? Replenishing the 401k, which I butchered in order to survive last year… 21. Current hate right now? My growing condo fees… 22. Favorite place to be? Ocean City 23. How did you bring in the New Year? With my baby! It was actually the best New Years ever… he said: “Happy Birthday Mommy”! 24. Where would you like to go? A trip to the Caymans or Barbados would be nice… 25. Name four people who will complete this? Friends, foes, associates, and wannabe lovers… 26. Do you own slippers? Yup! Do I wear them? No! 27. What shirt are you wearing? An Ed Hardy wife beater… 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? So 70’s! hot ass tacky ass shit… give me some high thread count, and I’m happy… THAT’S LUXURY… 29. Can you whistle? Nope! 30. Favorite color? Orange is my signature color, and Chocolate brown is the favorite… 31. Would you be a pirate? Nope… 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I’m too busy trynna figure out my damn life while I’m in the shower! 33. Favorite girl's name? Darcy, Dakota, and Dallas… 34. Favorite boy's name? Malcolm 35. What's in your pocket right now? My Lord n’ Taylor ID 36. Last thing that made you laugh? A customer at Lord n’ Taylor, ragging on how awful she looked in the dress she was trying on! Better her than me, right? 37. What kind of sheets did you have on your bed as a child? Not sure, but knowing my momma, they were NICE! She NEVER slacked on bed linens… actually she never slacked, or slacks on ANYTHING! 38. Your worst injury you've ever had? My damn bone spurred big toe! Thank God for anti-inflammatory’s! 39. Do you love where you live? I loved it when I first got it, it was my own lil museum, but 8 years and 1 kid later, I’m not feelin it… but, it’s MINE, the LTV is extra LOW, and I’m in MAJOR redecorating mode… it’s on the path to architectural design! Lol, at least in MY head… 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 6, two are BROKE! I got some Sanford n Son shit goin on in the bedroom (thanks Witchy Poo!) soon to change! 41. Who is your loudest friend? Lol… Witchy Poo… oh and Syl when her ass is DRUNK! 42. How many dogs do you have? MANY! Oh, we’re talking pets, NOT men… oops! NONE… 43. Does someone have a crush on you? I dunno know! A few have expressed interest in A Love, but few have expressed interest in TEAL… 46. What is your favorite candy? Mr. Goodbar 47. Favorite Sports Team? Team Tittie! Monique and Unique… 48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I’m goin down! Lol, I really haven’t thought about it… 4. What were you doing at 12 a.m? I was WIDE awake… NOT GOOD! 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Another day, that I’m closer to meeting my summer financial goals! Yo, a bitch is GRINDING and on a FUCKIN mission… I got folks in shock ova me and this part-time gig… Thank You Jesus, I FINALLY woke up, and realized that money is not ALWAYS meant to be SPENT… lol Nighty~Night!
 No matter who I’m with, man or woman, I hear it ALL the time; “Damn you taste good”… I recently had a fling with a witty young man, who is making every possible effort to be more than just a fling! Lol, every time we talk he spends the bulk of the conversation talking about how damn good I taste… and the other part of conversation revolves around how wet I am… if nothing else he sure knows how to make a sista feel good! Lol
I’m sure all you ladies have heard it before, and for the ladies who are not strangers to swallowing, I’m sure you’ve run across a guy or two who taste pretty damn good too… keeping this mind, I’m curious to know what good pussy taste like? I’ve eaten a few pussies in my time, and I’m pleased to report that they all tasted lovely to me… nice and fresh… and yes, nice and fresh has a nice taste… I like to refer to it as a “clean taste” … thank goodness I haven’t run into any foul tasting pussy! What a turn off that would be…
So here I sit on a Sunday evening, wondering what good pussy taste like to you?
Do you think that the rule of thumb for guys applies to women also? The more water they drink, and the less alcohol they drink, makes for better tasting semen… staying away from red meat, and spicy foods also makes for tolerable cum… with that said, do you think that women who “flush” their systems have a cleaner fresher taste?
And lastly, how much does shaving ones pubic hair play into how good a woman taste? I thru this question in, because we all know that women and men with pubic hair tend to have a musty odor that can often times make one think they don’t taste as good, because you can’t escape the mustiness of it all!
So talk to me peeps, what does good pussy taste like to you? Ladies, have you TASTED yourself? If so, did you pass your personal taste test? Guy’s have you run across any not so tasty pussy? If so, WHAT did it taste like? I wanna know! lol
Hi, my name is: Ms. Teal But you can call me: Ms Teal! Never in my life have I: been gang banged! The one person who can drive me nuts is: there are several people that drive me nuts, and to protect theit feelings, I shall not reveal who they are! My high school is: I.C.A. Immaculate Conception Academy for Girls class of ‘85 When I'm nervous: I eat like a pig and smoke like a chimney The last song I listened to was: Some Mix shit by Wonder Twinz on AOL Radio If I were to get married right now it would be to: Hell, YOU tell ME! I’d marry the fictional man that I dreamed up and fuck nightly.. he's good as hell too... nasty fucker! My hair is: slicked back in my signature bun, that I am SICK of! When I was 4: I was a happy lil bitch! Mom and Dad were still together, and I was living the LIFE… Yup, those were the good ole’ days Last Christmas: Was a pretty cool Christmas, I slept all day and ate all night! (thanks T, although we NO longer speak) I should be: eating lunch, and working When I look down I see: the prettiest feet in the sexiest shoe… so i'm biased! but dammit, i got some pretty fat, flintstone feets... The happiest recent event was: hanging out at the beach with my lil man! If I were a character on 'Friends' : They would have to create a sitcom based on my character alone! By this time next year: I should see light, rainbows, and some mo’ shit at the end of this damn tunnel. My current gripe is: Folks who continue to make fucked up decisions knowing damn well it’s a FUCKED UP decision, and then they expect you to be understanding… jello, I TRIED TO TELL YA! I have a hard time understanding: why I hold my pee so damn long! Man, imma need some damn depends! If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: My momma! I want to buy: A new vehicle… Where do you plan to visit : That’s a good question – a sista will be revisting Ocean City… SOON! If you spent the night at my house: I don’t do overnights! HA The world could do without: negative, judgmental, weak ass people.. Most recent thing I've bought myself: well, I got the cutest lil dress at Marshalls last evening, and I got some shoes… Most recent thing someone else bought me: *scratching my head* oh, my mom got me some cute lil tops and dresses while I was visting… My middle name is: Ellen In the morning I: Wish I could turn back over and go back to sleep! Last night I was: getting lil man ready for his trip to Texas! And then, I got TWISTED, and then I played in my twat… There's this girl I know who: got this man, that got this other girl, that got this thing goin on… (jus kiddin) If I was an animal I'd be a: Meer Kat A better name for me would be: Dakota or Dallas Tomorrow I am: Going to work Tonight I am: Going to get LAID My birthday is: 04/09/1967 You got this from: LeTonya
I’ve become obsessed with WeTV… obsessed! A few shows that have caught my attention; Bridezilla’s has made for great Sunday house cleaning entertainment… and then there’s the series Women Behind Bars, for those of you who don’t know, I am also obsessed with Prison Documentaries, my dad did a brief stint as a prison doctor, and every since then (which was many years ago, I was probably 5 years old) I’ve been fixated on anything prison related… I swear when Oz was discontinued I was devastated…
Here I go getting off topic AGAIN! Any who, I happened upon another show that comes on WeTV on Tuesday evenings called: The Secret Lives of Women. Now this is another GREAT show… it pretty much tells the story of every day women, who have the picket fence, the dog, the home with the garage, and the 2 kids… but, most of these women have an interesting behind closed door life… some do it for pleasure, others do it to earn a dollar… They have followed the lifestyles of a variety of women, women who like to take professional nude photos for their hubbys… women who strip on the side for extra cash, women who were once polygamist who have fled from the lifestyle and are now advocates for younger women who are forced into marriage due to their religious beliefs… it’s an interesting show, and even women who are dominatrixs, and or submissives, even prostitutes (by the way has anyone seen the new Call Girl show on Showtime?) I’ve always and will always be fascinated with how people live their lives… I find pleasure in knowing what brings a person TRUE joy… so, I’m watching The Secret Lives of Women the other night, and low and behold the topic was women in the porn industry… they showed how normal these women are, and how they live everyday lives… the only difference was how they earned their paper… instead of a 9 to 5, they work 5 to 9… instead of sitting in an ergonomically correct chair, they sit on some woman’s or mans face… but, WHAT no, let me rephrase that WHO caught my attention was, BUCK ANGEL… have you all heard of Buck Angel?
Well, if you haven’t let me fill you in… Buck Angel is the ONLY female to male transsexual porn star… (http://www.buckangel.com/) I mean he walks like a man, talks like a man, looks like man, but, he fucks like a woman… you see Buck Angel still has a pussy ( I coulda wrote vagina, but pussy feels right!), and he has shaped and molded his career in porn based on being a man with a pussy… man, this is so fuckin wild to me! About a year ago, one of my fetish friends from 360 turned me on to ole Buck Angel, and I peeped him, her, hell I dunno! But I peeped him out, and was like: WOW! I was speechless, and I’m still pretty much speechless… so here I am a year later writing a blog about Buck muthafuckin Angel… now, I’m a freak, and freaky kinky shit excites me, but in all honesty, I’m not sure what I feel about ole Buck… I mean damn, I like pussy, but I like feminine pussy, hell, I love dick, and I like manly dick… and hell, I’mma put my shit out there by saying that I could totally get with a sexy as feminine T-Girl… in my lil crazy, sick way of thinking, a T-Girl is really the BEST of both worlds…
But Buck Angel… what world is he in? I know how he categorizes himself, and how the industry categorizes him but damn, I’m stumped on this… I guess you could call him a T-boy? but damn if a man wants pussy he wants a woman, if a woman wants a man she wants a man… (given further thought, i must say there are those women who want a manly woman)... off an on for the past few days, I've been wondering; who wants Buck Angel? The interesting thing is this; his following is all gay men! Now, how bizarre is that? A gay man, watching a female to male porn star with a pussy... (dammit, i'm confused)
Now, I know this is some out there kinda shit… but, y’all are some deep ass, wise ass folks, and some of y’all got this whole sex, gender, sexuality shit down to a science… tell me your thoughts on Buck Angel? But before you do, peep this out: According to his website, Buck Angel was a pronounced tomboy as a child and adolescent. Unaware of the existence of sexual reassignment surgery, he lived for years as a female, dulling his sexual confusion with drugs and alcohol. Though he was profitably employed as a professional model, he has stated that he was generally dissatisfied with his identity and existence and "was not loving life." [1] When he saw a film featuring a female-to-male transsexual character, he immediately began inquiring about sexual reassignment surgery and therapy and started receiving testosterone treatments. Within two years, he had his breasts surgically removed and began living full-time as a man. He has not undergone a phalloplasty and advertises himself as a "real man with a real pussy". It is not unusual for many FTM transgender men to forgo this procedure, as it is both expensive (usually about two or three times as expensive as the MTF genital surgeries) and highly risky; additionally, some transmen don't consider the results to be on-par with the MTF options. Angel is distinguished for his openness about possessing a vulva and the pride he takes in being a transman with female genitalia. He is currently married to body piercer Elayne Angel.
 When I make up my mind to do something, I do it…
I formulate a plan…
Once the plan has been formulated…
I work it… With much precision and GRACE!
There are times when the plan does not come together…such as my being laid off last year, and not finding suitable employment until 13 months later…
But, this plan… this plan right here, is on some extraordinary shit…
You see, this weekend is “BlackOut” night at “The Spot”…
And not just ANY “BlackOut” night, but the first one of the summer…
Can you imagine? I mean really, can you fuckin imagine? Freaks LOVE hot weather!
A few weeks ago I started to plant seeds to various folks… and some took the bait. While others did not, and that’s cool…
But, I am here to tell ya, that this weekend at “The Spot” is gonna be OFF DA FUCKIN CHAIN…
I can feel it… I can smell it, and by the way, frisky ass Jackie is cutting up ova on 360… *smh* talking bout “she makes it rain” ummmhmm, rain on me! HA!
Bitches getting ready to be on some triple XXX – porn star – girls gone wild shit…
Did I mention that it’s “BlackOut” night? Did I ,mention that at midnight, all lights are turned da fuck off? Nothing but glow sticks to see our ways thru… Did I mention that “ANYTHING” goes on the dance floor…
Close your eyes, and imagine the dance floor of your favorite club with NO lights on, and a bunch of BARELY dressed, if not NAKED folks… ummhmm, that’s the scene, just NASTY…
I’m here to tell you that on Saturday May 31, 2008 at the stroke of midnight, I will be on the dance floor at Tabu with a glow stick in my fuckin pussy! And ya know what, I’m a selective bitch… I don’t allow any ole’ dick up in this pussy… but, you best believe, I’m getting ready to set it out… family style, ALL U CAN EAT! and if the dick is right... ALL U CAN FUCK lol
I will re-earn my Ho card Saturday Night! Yup, I said it, “HO’ Motha Fuckin Card”…
And Ms Jackie, you wanna get nasty in the “Dungeon Room” bring it on Bitch, cuz I need it NASTY! Not that over the counter VANILLA shit… *smh* that shit NO LONGER WORKS…
*wink*
And to Ms. Butterfly who use to be a fuckin Caterpillar (figure it out)… you and your disappearing ass, I will hunt ya ass down, and tap on every fuckin door up in that joint, just to watch ya nastee ass in action, cuz I already know, that you and your boo, getting ready to CUT DA’ FUCK UP… *smh* Expect the unexpected, and the blog that is sure to follow… Ms Teal…. OUT!
First and foremost, THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY… I’ve spent the whole week wishing I had a smart phone, it seems that I come up with some juicy shit as I ride the train, reading Master/Slave, and listen to people as they converse via cell phone for all to hear… which brings me to my first rant, observation, whateva the hell you’d like to call it… Ok, I know folks need to handle their business while on the train, and the bus, I get that… hell I have friends who converse via cell on the train and bus, and lawd knows I am not knocking anybody, but dammit that shit drives me crazy! I mean to make a quick call to check on the whereabouts of kids, and to firm up the evenings plans is one thing, but damn y’all to hell who have long, “loud” detailed conversations for all to hear… I mean really, it’s an enclosed public space; must I listen to you converse with your peeps about Uncle Charlie’s colon cancer, and what the best options are? C’mon now, some conversations are meant to be had in the privacy of your home! OMG, then you have the foreigners, is it me, or do they speak extremely loud? I swear to God, and all things holy, Ethiopians get ta speaking their language on the “Ride On” and their voices raise 10 octaves! Dammit, I’m trynna read… I swear sometimes, I wanna say something… but I just mind my business and save it for the blog…. Btw, kudos to the folks who realize it is rude, and makes a special effort to speak low, and keep it short! Lol I have done more walking in the last, 3 weeks then I have in the last 30 years… I can not say that enough! Everyday I walk thru a park in downtown D.C., Franklin Park. Now, this park is located directly across the street from a homeless shelter… the shelter use to be a school that my mom taught at, (I had to mention that because whenever I walk by the school I go back to my childhood, cause I would go there everyday after school… I have issue with traveling back in time!) Any who, so the homeless folks hang out in the park, all damn day… now riddle me this? Why is it that, every damn day without fail, I see some damn homeless man with his dick pulled out, pissing on a damn tree? I swear I do… and peep this, have u ever seen homeless dick? I swear there is a difference! Homeless dick is wrinkled and the fume the piss emits is enough to kill every ant, worm, squirrel, plant or tree in the park! Now, the other interesting observation about this shelter is this, I have determined that there are 2 types of people who reside in this shelter… the ones who really don’t mind being homeless, they sit back, piss in parks, drink there drank, puff their borrowed cigarettes, and chill… and then you have the ones, who make an effort to get dressed everyday, I’m talking suits and dresses, like they are goin to work, and if they do nothing but walk up and down 13th street, to feel like productive members of society than dammit, that’s what they do: walk up and down the street in their Sunday best! Now granted, I realize this is a serious issue, but this is my take on what I see as I sit from my 4th floor window… The job is good… I am pleased with what I am doing, and day by day, I’m learning more and more…. Although I tend to have mini panic attacks throughout the damn day, I never-ever let them see me sweat, and I forge on! And mad praises to the sista in the office who could see the panic on my face after I was given another duty! I finally admitted to her that I didn’t have a clue about Excel, Power Point, and Abode Captivate! Girlfriend has taken the time to give me crash courses on all three… I’ve always been in corporate America, where you come up with an idea, come up with a plan of action, and then pass it on to someone who then puts your vision on paper… so it’s been an experience… on another note, why do people try to test you? My position requires constant responding to emails, all day, every damn day… so yesterday one of the account managers sends me an email, asking me when I was gonna follow up with one of her clients? And I was like; damn Teal, you’ve been so on top of your game, how did I drop the ball on this? Well I immediately start searching outlook, inside and out, every fuckin folder! Low n behold NOTHING… so I quickly told this lil bitch that she never sent me the request, however I’ll jump right on it… this bitch wanted to argue me down… now, I’d like to think there are two sides to Teal, kind/gentle/compassionate/laid back/non-confrontational Teal, and there’s bourghetto Teal the eye rolling/neck twisting, teeth sucking/curses like a sailor, and will not hesitate to tell you in a professional way, YOU’S A FUKCIN LIAR! But, I was cool, it takes A LOT to push my buttons, I tend to take more than the average human, and then I get to a point where I’m just DONE… that seems to be true in my professional, personal, and online life… and when I’m DONE, I’m DONE (with the exception of that damn papi, who I have decided is INSANE). Sidebar: Moving forward, this is NOT directed to anyone, so please DO NOT hit me with the, ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT ME! No got dammit! And if you think I am talkin’ bout you, then look in the mirror, NOT ME… lol Speaking of buttons being pushed! Boy was this the week for that… I am starting to realize more and more than my tolerance level for folks inadequacies, and unwillingness to move beyond there personal drama, rather it be work drama, lifestyle drama, relationship drama, climbing outta the gutter drama, what the fuck eva, is more than I can stand… with that said, I think as humans beings when we care about people and we see a loved one not living up to his or her full potential, we often want to help them to be the best that they can be… experience has taught me that in the end it’s like dealing with an addict… they have to want it for themselves, and until they do want it, they will continue in the same hole they’ve been in from the moment you were placed in their lives… that pains me to no end… I tend to take on other folks issues, when I see something or someone who is worthy of so much more, I want more for that person… when I see someone hurting, I want to STOP the hurt… I am learning that folks have to want it for themselves, and there isn’t shit I can do about it… what I haven’t learned is how to still be supportive of friends when I see them at a stand still, and when I think about it, I get that from my mother (not good), she will cut a person off in New York minute, and I find that I too am guilty of such behavior… it bothers me, because in a sense, I feel like I’m draining myself worrying about the next persons shit… it’s an issue I have, and I acknowledge it, and I’m working on it daily… but at the same time, I am a passionate, compassionate individual who really wants more for the people that I call FRIEND… it’s like how can they not see what, I see?... we are all works in progress forever learning, forever growing… my question is how to be supportive when you see the progress stops and for some folks the progress never started? Tricky for Teal! Drama is a very interesting word, a word that takes on many faces… but, I gotta tell ya something; “net drama” is a totally different beast… ain’t no drama like net drama. See, with net drama, you really don’t know who’s doing what, and why… all of us 360 and Multiply folks got motives for doing what we do, rather it be networking, building friendships, or simple relief from the 9 to 5 office bullshit… the net gives us the ability to hide behind your true self, and lead folks to believe one thing when it’s really another.. I’ve come to the conclusion that “WE” are all “CRAZY” fa real! Different degrees of crazy, but none the less crazy… some of us are “crazy cool”, some of us are “crazy insane”… the real work is figuring out what box you belong in, and what box the peeps on your friends list belong in… and peeps, need a remind you, that every person on your friend list, is NOT your friend? HELLO… WAKE UP! I offer you this simple advice, don’t read too much into shit that you can’t authenticate, touch and feel… I’ve been hearing some crazy shit as of lately, and all I can say is this: FOLLOW YOUR GUT… if it smells like a rat, than dammit it’s a rat… and ladies, ladies, ladies, protect your hearts, your wallets, and your God given common sense, cause folks will test you, if you show any sign of weakness, they will prey on you… this goes for the men also, lemme tell ya, there are some vicious ass vindictive ass, shady ass bitches out here, who are simply out to run game on you! Inclosing, I will leave you all with this: Karma Is a real bitch, and trust and believe for every dirty deed you do to another it will come back twice fold… Now get busy living, and while you’re at it, have a great weekend!
What’s up good people! Earlier today, I found myself reading some online article, and I ran across a lil something that pretty much stated that "Solo Sex Hurts Your Relationship" in short it states that Masturbation can hurt your relationship by creating distance... I personally think that’s possible! But, it can be easily resolved: MUTUAL MASTURBATION, if you can’t pro-create, I say mutual masturbate! lol... But the killer was when I read that fantasies can really hurt your relationship... From what I gather often times when you fantasize, your dreaming of another person, your fantasizing about sex with someone other than your partner... Would that, could that, be CHEATING? Hmmmmmm.... Did you know that phone sex, and internet chatting is considered fantasizing? Once again, could that be CHEATING? Personally, I think fantasies can be a good thing! I think that if both parties are open about sharing their fantasies it can only increase the love making.... Discussing fantasies is a healthy way to increase the depth of future bedroom soirees... Keepin the fantasy to yourself and not being able to release them can pose more of a problem then having the fantasy! But who am I? I’m jus a chick that likes to blog about all things sexual... *shrugs shoulders* Now on the other hand, sharing fantasies can also cause problems... Especially if the other party is insecure... Sharing a fantasy can often lead the insecure party to believe that you’ve explored these ideas with someone else... At the end of the day it’s a matter of knowing your mate, and knowing how their mind works... So tell me, would you have issues with your mate fantasizing about another woman while making love to you? Men would you be offended if you found out your woman was fantasizing about the well endowed ex-boyfriend she had prior to meeting you? Wouldn’t you prefer your significant other share your fantasies with you instead of acting them out with someone else? Talk to me folks! My ass fantasizes all damn day... Hell, I even fantasize about some of y’all! But I’m single, so I guess it’s ok... *wink*
1. Honestly, where are you now? In my damn bed... Wonderin why I’m not sleep or at least touchin myself...
2. Honestly, have you ever failed a subject in high school? Nope, not a one! Wooohoo for me... 3. Honestly, what's on your mind? Lil man... He’s not feeling very well, and missing school is out of the question... 4. Honestly, what is it that you really should be doing right now? I should be prepping for tomorrow... Ironing clothes for John and myself! 5. Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today? umm, YES! 6. Honestly, who are your best friends in the world? there’s best friends, and there’s good friends... One of my bestest freinds is my ace, John. 7. Honestly, who is the hottest person you know? Hmmmm, that’s easy... ME! Lol seriously I need to give this some thought 8. Honestly, are you a good friend? I think so... But only my friends cangive you a true answer... 9. Honestly, do you think school is important? Very much so... I believe that higher education isn’t for everyone, however I also believe that college isn’t your "thing" then a trade needs to be your thing... better yet, a plan that will allow you to be self sufficent! 10. Honestly, what are your dreams mostly about? I dream of better days! It usta be love, now it’s more about stability... I dream about my sons future... 11. Honestly, who/what makes you happy most of the time? My son... my fantasies, reminisicing about the good ole days! Mostly my son, the sit he says could brighten any day 12. Honestly, what hobbies do you have? Well, riding public transportation has allowed me to embrace reading again... Mastubating, sleeping, eating, dreaming, living, laughing, loving, and embracing new ideals 13. Honestly, what song are you listening to? A lipton green ice tea commercial... none really 14. Honestly, who do you want to see at this very moment? Wow! If I could make it happen it would be my dad, and Jackie, but they are no longer with us! Maybe they’ll appear in tonights dream... 15. Honestly, do you have a deadly condition? My tongue can be deadl, but only when I’ve been pushed... 16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? Hate, no... hate is a strong word! Dislike? Yes, I dislike several people 17. Honestly, who/what do you wanna hug right now? My mom... I could use a hug from my momma right about now! 18. Honestly, are you bored? No, not really... More like relaxed! 19. Honestly, who do you wanna slap right now? I refuse to go there! Lol 20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? Oh yes! Oh hell yes... 21. Honestly, do u like someone? I like a lot of people! 22. Honestly, are u single? Ummmm yes! And for the first time in a long ass time, I’m not sad about it! 23. Honestly, why did ya last relationship fail? Lol... Read the last blog, he was married! But for real, the one prior to that was due to us growing apart 24. Honestly, does anyone like you? I’m sure a few people like me! Most either do or don’t... Hell I like me, that’s more than some people can say
 I’m not sure if I’m a glutton for punishment or just too damn nice… I don’t consider myself to be a push over – but I’m beginning to think that a few of my acquaintances obviously think I appreciate being stepped on… no matte what, the older I get the less I can tolerate bullshit, but, for whatever reason, I continue to give some folks chance, after chance, after chance… so I guess I’m a glutton for punishment?!?!?
I have spent the past year getting Papi out of my system… we went several months with no contact, and I finally started taking his calls again… at the end of the day he and I have an excellent phone flow, and truth be told, I enjoy listening to him blow himself up, and make himself appear bigger than life, and because I know him, I can pretty much decipher the fact from the fiction… I believe this man lives in a make believe world, I believe that at one time in his life, he was on top of his game, and over the years he has taken a “fall from grace” I believe that being married to the woman that he is married to, allows him to portray a certain image, but at the end of the day, he’s a just a nigga… I often times think of the verse from Trick Daddy’s America when I think of him:
You only got 2 bucks and
give less than a fuck --
then you a nigga
Got a nice home and a Lexus
truck -- you a nigga
World champions and you
M.V.P -- you a nigga
4 degrees and a Ph.D -- still a nigga
You use your platinum ??
for ID's -- then you's a
nigga
If your skin is brown
just like me -- then you
a nigga
Got a promotion and a
FAT ass raise -- you
still a nigga
You from the islands and
your peoples wasn't
slaves -- you a nigga
No matter how much your
ass get paid -- you
still a nigga
Shot by the cops at a
traffic stop -- cause
you a nigga…
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]--> And with the title of being a bona fide nigga comes the bona fide truth that a great deal of niggaz lies thru their damn teeth! Example: he has this thing for saying, that wifey is in her “wing” and he is in his “wing” of the house” now if you didn’t know any better, you would think that he lived in a mansion or even a mini mansion… he lives in a fucking townhouse! You can’t have “wings” in a fuckin townhouse, it’s more like “floors” she got her floor, and you got your floor! FLOORS mutha fucka, FLOORS! … WTF? Any who, I’m getting off track…
In re-opening the lines of communication with the intention to fuck him, cuz truth be told I have yet to find someone as nasty as him, granted I have had bigger, harder, longer lasting, firmer dicks, I have yet to find anyone who is as “naturally” nasty as him… there’s good dick and there’s nasty dick, I like good nasty dick! Lol but the more he continues with the bullshit lying, and not keeping his damn word, the more turned off I become... what’s so sad about this, is that, this is this mans “normal” at least it’s his normal with me… as I sit here and give it further thought, how sad it is that a man can claim to love you and still continue to hit you with bullshit… the other sad thing is this: if he would jus keep his damn mouth shut, and NOT come up with these brilliant non existent suggestions, we wouldn’t be going thru this bullshit! Oh but yes, he’s supa nigga, he can do that! Lawd help him, and help me for putting up with the madness! When I see him slipping into his ‘Rani way’, I once again find myself wondering, what the fuck is wrong with me? And why am I subjecting myself to this mans craziness? I mean damn, am I a fuckin martyr? The whole say one thing and do another… the inability to keep his word, and his inability to admit when he can’t keep his word… how much screaming and hollering can one damn person do about the same damn issue? And at what point will he “get it”? (hell, when will I get it!) He continues to suggest that we do something, but he can never do it? He continues to express his desire to spend time, and yet he can’t do it… and the interesting thing is I could give a fuck; I’m only interested in the SEX… I don’t feed into his so called wishes, but I can’t help but analyze it, because I don’t understand how his mind works, and why he does what he does… and for some crazy reason, I want to figure this shit out! (that’s me… always analyzing shit!) I’m at a point, where I could give a fuck about spending time, talking on the phone, and the I love you’s… that shit means NOTHING to me (although it is funny as hell… in a pathetic kinda way)... I don’t need to break bread, I don’t need to sip on cocktails, I don’t need any of that from him… yet he insist on putting shit on the table without actually making it happen! Someone please tell me why this man does this? He continues to reach out, knowing damn well he brings nothing to my world… well, maybe he brings his nasty sex, but other than that, nothing, and let’s be honest; he can’t even make that happen, nigga so damn scared of his damn man-wife, he’s not willing to make it happen! (this is some crazy ass shit)…
For the past two months, he has made these bullshit attempts to get together with the intention of FUCKIN, and he has yet to make that shit happen… he finds out I have a job (via 360 blast) and the communication goes from weekly to daily, and he decides he wants to celebrate by taking me to lunch… and I tell him: don’t do that, don’t set yourself up! But nooooo, he still doesn’t “get it” … and let’s be real, I’m still waiting for the lunch date from the last job offer which was 2 years ago… And I’m still waiting for this idiot to acknowledge that he can’t make that happen!
Lawd help him, and help me! Papi, realize this: concerning affairs outside of the bedroom, you have been conditioned to treat me like shit… and I’m ok with that, I know you’re a piece of shit, and you will always be a piece of shit when it comes to me… I have no need to do anything that does not involve any form of sexual activity… basically you are a piece of shit, with a nasty dick, no more, no less! So, listen up, when you get the nerve, the balls, and the loot to arrange a soiree, outside of my damn home (btw, you are no longer welcome in my home!) Then, you let a sista know! All that other shit, that makes you want to communicate with me, regarding none sexual shit, such as; how’s lil man? how’s the job? my momma? And my life? that ain’t your concern! Find another ear-piece mine is all waxed da hell up!
With all that said, and believe it or not, papi has taught me a valuable lesson when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex! No longer do I “sit on things” when I notice inconsistencies, I deal with them immediately… now, this can be a good or bad thing… but men, y’all gotta stop with the bullshit!
This brings me to another experience that continues to baffle the hell outta me! Now, I met this dude online, (hmmm could the common thread be INTERNET MEN) he appeared to be a decent dude, had nice conversation etc… god fearing, kid loving, and a freak… not nasty, but a freak… so as I get to know this dude I found myself getting more and more comfortable with sharing something’s that were going on with me… my sharing was nothing more than getting shit off my chest, I didn’t want or expect him to do shit about my situation… and suddenly, he decided he wants to help me… and I was more than appreciative… now dude gives me all these damn dates, as to when he’s gonna do x,y and z… and it never happens! One thing after another… and he too can’t acknowledge shit… lawd help me what is goin on with men today! Now, when I call him out on his shit, cuz for real it was a great deal of shit…. Lie after lie, from Victoria's Secret to cell phones, to birthday gifts and some other insignificant shit (which is the real clincher! This is all insignificant shit, but a mass of insignificant shit can lead to a BIG problem) I decided it was time to speak on his shit… and dude tells me that “I appear to be the kind of woman that keeps a tally of everything a person tells them”… now is that not how shit works? But on another note, if ya ass was real with ya shit, I wouldn’t be keeping tally! Hells don’t trip on me; look at self… any who isn’t that human nature to remember what folks tell you? Especially the “important” shit? So I called him out, and dude goes on to say that, he’s a man of his word, and low n behold, he still ain’t kept his word, and the dude had the nerve to lie and say it’s in the mail! Now, why couldn’t he just be upfront and say, I can’t do it? *smh* Lol, what is that? Now the killer is this; in both of these situations, this is a case of niggaz putting their damn foot in there mouth! I’m not asking for a lot… I only ask that you be real, and stop with the bullshit! I mean damn, it’s one thing to communicate and another thing to over communicate… now, the sad thing about this dude is his mouth pretty much fucked up a blooming friendship… rest assured he won’t see it that way… they never do!
Listen, if you can’t do something, just say it, and dammit, don’t go volunteering shit, when you know damn well; you can’t make it happen…
Lawd help me… I feel better!
All that to say this, I refuse to tolerate bullshit from the old or the new… come correct or don’t come at all, and if you come at me with the bullshit, I will call you on it, with NO hesitation…
 ...this week has truly been a trip down memory lane. I haven’t worked downtown in YEARS... And although I find myself driving thru downtown on the regular you really don’t notice the changes until you are walking thru downtown... When I worked downtown, I recall lots of funky boutiques and speciality shops on the K street corridor... That no longer exist! My biggest disappointment was the missing McDonald on 14th and K! Man, I had my mouth ready for a steak and cheese bagel my first day... Oh well, they say change is good... Plus my fat ass DID NOT need that damn sandwich....
...the job is cool. I’m working for a non-profit as a help desk specialist. The funny thing is that I am technically challenged... but, my strong Customer Service and Data Integrity background got me the position... The company I work for provides accreditation for health insurance and pharmacies in the United States... What I do is provide assistance to doctors, nurses, etc on the process of accreditation, and the application process... Because these are medical professionals they have little technical experience and the association felt that they needed someone who could break things down in simple terms, and this is where your girl comes in! It’s a cool gig, and because the company is growing by leaps and bounds, I see myself moving into another position within two years... The benefits are to die for, and that alone tells me that I will DIE at this place... The downside is that I’m used to taking 75 - 100 calls per day, this place is lucky if they get 7 calls per day... So the down time is killing me, I can only hope that it picks up as I learn the ins and out of medical accreditation... ...the other downside is the commute... I realize that in time I will get use to it, but it’s killing me... I’ve gone from jumping in the runner and running my ass to work to walking lil man to before care, jumping my ass on a ride on, to jumping on a train to walking 1.5 blocks from the train, to the job, and I repeat the scenario in reverse on the way home... Now I enjoy the subway, the people watching is cool... But the walking, lawd help me, the walking is KILLING me... I am aching like crazy! I know this will where off in time, but dammit, my ass is outta shape and in pain... Yesterday I woke up and could not stand, bend, or reach! I took a hot shower and felt much better... I went about the business of getting to work, and thought I was gonna pass out as I walked to work... Now keep in mind that I am a big girl, but I’m not obese, just over weight, so I should not be struggling like this... When I left work yesterday, the thought of the commute had me almost in tears cuz, my ass was in agony! ...so, I’m leaving work, standing on a corner at 13th and k, a busy downtown intersection, and low and behold I look and I see a guy driving a green benz... He looks at me, and I look at him, and the stare down begins... Suddenly I realize, it’s Morris! I yell out, Morris W., and he looks, takes off his glasses and was like; TEAL? And then a smile like no other came across his face... I walk over and he asked where I was going, and I tell him, and he says, get in! Lawd have mercy, can I just say I was one HAPPY sistah, cuz I honestly didn’t know how I was gonna make it, my legs and thighs were weak as hell, and my energy levels were super low... ...Morris, Morris, Morris... Where do I begin? Well, Morris was my FIRST married man, and should have been my last. But y’all know THAT story!... We dated 15 years ago for 3 years... I LOVED this man, do you hear me? LOVED HIM... how we met was the cutest thing! I used to manage a retail store in langley park, and he had a part-time gig at a family owned childrens shoe store that was next door.. He worked on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and whenever he worked, he would bring me lollipops from the shoe store... After weeks of doing this, we finally exchanged numbers... And that was the beginning of something special... ...so, I get in the car, first thing that he says is; you had a baby? And I was like, DAMN, have I gained THAT much weight, hell I had the baby 6.5 years ago... Note to self: stop eating, and focus on good health, and losing some damn weight! Dude was always a well dressed man, and if you know nothing about me, I think you all know that I am a sucker for a well dressed man, and back then I was drawn to them like a moth to a flame... ...he takes me to pick up lil man, and we start to talk about everything, mostly catching up on each others lives... He told me that he was still married to his high school sweetheart, his daughter was now a lawyer and his son was graduating from high school this year... That was wild! Hell, when I was dating Morris his son was 3 years old, and his daughter was a lil hot body in junior high... I then asked about wifey, and he told me that wifey has M.S., she was diagnosed in 2000, and had to take a early out do to her illness... he said that it’s been a long hard road to travel, but he was committed to being by her side... for some reason hearing this touched me... Morris and his wife have been together since junior high school , they got married because she was pregnant, I wouldn’t say they were soul mates, however they are dedicated, too one another, and I respect that... I didn’t respect or understand it then, but 15 years later, I get it! She stood by him thru his days of running the streets, and being on paper for years (probation), and also thru the relationship he had with me, and lawd knows how many after me... And now his standing by her side during a debilitating illness... I find that beautiful! Don’t ask me why, but I do... Sidebar: I am finding more and more that a man may stray, but if he has a woman who has been by his side thru thick and thin, he will NOT leave her... In my eyes that’s loyalty, but I sometimes wonder at what cost? A lot of these dudes are dedicated but aren’t completely happy, and far from fulfilled... With all that said, loyalty is some real shit... that ride or die shit! ...ater we discussed him, we discussed me, and where I was in my life... He was not surprised to hear I wasn’t married... He told me, not too many men can handle you Teal. And he’s correct... I filled him in on everything, lil man, my mom, dad, etc... I caught him up on my girlfriends that he knew of from back in the day... And I filled him in on some of my wicked ways! I told him I was bi now and the dude was baffled beyond belief! I knew that more than he could handle, but hell, I have nothing to hide... ...there was an awkward silence for all of 60 seconds, and then he told me, I think of you often... You were the best thing to ever happen to me... And although it was bad timing, you meant the world to me... I was BLOWN away... Honestly, because I didn’t know he felt that way, and Mainly cause it was unexpected.. And then, he started to go into our time together... Lawd y’all this dude started to spit out shit, that I had forgotten about... He reminded me about the times we would lay in bed by candle light and I would read to him... He told me he loved that I read to him... He reminded me about Christmas gifts we had exchanged, and went on to tell me that he still cherishes the watch I gave him... he reminded me of the times that he and wifey were beefing and I would sneak him into my moms house, and the one time my mom knocked on the door at 2:00a.m.... he reminded me of all the lunch dates, and movie dates... He reminded me of our Sunday’s together... Sunday’s were our day, every Sunday we spent together, rather it was running the streets, or hanging out at home... I was touched by this! We spoke in detail, about so many things, and the whole time I was sitting there in a state of shock... This man never expressed any of this during are time together, I knew he loved me, and I loved him, but to see him 15 years later and hear him speak from his heart in the manner he did touched me in ways I would have never imagined... ...so why am I sharing this? Simply to say that we never know the impact that we make on ones life... to know that I touched this man heart in this manner, made me feel good, and helped me to realize that my loving him was not in vain, and it wasn’t a complete waste of my time... love is about leaving lasting impressions... Trust, it put a smile on face knowing that I left him with a lasting impression and him leaving me with one... and what did I learn from him? I learned that when a man loves you, he will move heaven and earth for you... In my dealings with papi I often reflected on Morris, although they were both married and I had no business being with either of them, I knew this man loved me, and seeing him today confirmed it even more... ...in closing, we exchanged numbers, and will meet for drinks in the weeks to come, but the past will remain in the past, plus my admitting I was bi was a total turnoff for him, I got a major laugh outta that... I guess he’s in that small percentile of men that have no desire to experience a menage a trois... Interesting, I say, very interesting! have a great weekend...
 First and foremost, Happy Easter to my online family! Ok, ok, ok, if you didn’t know, my laptop crashed a year ago, and dammit, when it crashed, I crashed! Well, low n behold, the heavenly fasther has placed someone in my life who has reparied my laptop, and with that repair comes all my old blogs, pictures, videos, and some mo’ shit! Whew damn, can I just tell y’all that I was a picture taking, video making FOOL...
any who, in honor of my baby up and running, I’ll be posting some old blogs for your viewing and commenting pleasure! enjoy... ...I’ve decided that when i die, i will come back as a porn star! my screen name will be simone the seductress... my visions of porn star stardom began at st paul and augustine's in the 2nd grade... sister jean marie asked the class to think of what they wanted to be when they grew up? now all the little kids had these grand thoughts, president, doctors, lawyers, firemen, policemen, etc... and when it was my time to answer, i stood up boldly and said, i wanna be a "go-go dancer"! sister jean marie almost shit bricks, and then i said no, no, no, i wanna be a "porn star"! i was quickly grabbed by my innocent little hands, and immediately pattled in front of the whole damn class... the funny thing is although i was embarrassed as hell that this old ass bitch paddled me in front of the whole damn class, i must admit, that wood paddle felt good (another story, for another blog!), and i can remember that was the first time i felt my pussy juices trickle down my thighs... that was an experience to remember! ...it's sufficient to say that my deviant behaviour started at a very young age! i can tell yawl some stories, but i'll save that for future blogs... due to the fact that my parents were divorced and my mom worked on her masters at night, i spent a great deal of time with some cousins who were party girls, and i was "little miss", always along for the ride... in my travels with them i saw things that the average 9 year old should and would not see... they were big in the local theatrical world, always rehearsing for that play or auditioning for the next local play... most of the rehearsals would take place at someone's house, after the rehearsal there would always be a basement house party (ain't nothin like those 70's basement house parties!), some of yawl remember house parties, with the red or blue light, people drinkin miller, and smokin weed... my ass was right there, all up in the mix... i would turn a corner and it would be nothing for me to see someone giving a blow job- or walk into the bathroom, and boom girlfriend is riding her mans dick on the toliet- then there was the time that i ventured from the basement to the upstairs, and i saw a straight orgy takin place... now i knew better than to bring this shit to my mothers attention, because all that shit would've come to an immediate hault!... now whenever i would tell my cousins what i saw, they would quickly tell me that what i saw was folks "rehearsing" for a play! OK... rehearsal huh?... that's interesting... now lets fast forward a few years to about 12 years old when i saw my first porn flick, now i'm seeing some of the same shit, that i saw at those damn parties! for me, that was a light bulb moment! hence, my inner most desire to be a porn star! now the funny thing is this, i told sister jean marie i wanted to be a porn star way before my expeirences with my wacky cousins... i guess the inner freak was always there! ...now, i'm not bull-shitting yawl, i wanna come back as a porn star! why not get paid for what you love to do, and i love to fuck, and i fuck good enuf to get paid for it! i figure that my being a porn star will allow me to indulge in all of my inner most desires, such as experiencing double penetration, a little bdsm, and my personal favorite, the domme bitch!... ummmhmmm, get paid for getting laid, hell not only can i indulge in my desires, but i also get the chance to indulge in my vouyeristic, and exhibionist ways, all while being payed! at the end of the day, it's all about the paper baby... you see in my little porn star world things would go like this: i would produce, star, and direct... i would choose my co-stars, and they would fuck me on demand, in the manner that i choose to be fucked... now, my sets would all be upscale, avante garde, sexy sets.... non of that cheezy shit, with the $300.00 couches, $100.00 chairs, and 100 count sheets... fuck that, my pussy ain't comfortable unless it's laying on 400 count plus! ... my sets would be decorated with furniture from theodore's (it's a d.c. thing, so, some of yawl, wouldn't understand!), i would only be dressed in natori lingere, none of that cheap ass vistoria's secret shit (sorry ladies! it's a damn chain store!)... and, my movies would require no story line, it would be straight up caviar sex, with a dose of champange fantasies, and a twist of steel reserve thuggish rugged lovin'... ummhmm, that's me, simone the seductress, the milliuem vanessa del rio... |
|
