When you do smell and you’re at work, what do you do? Do you wash up? Do you conceal with a tampon or do you return to your seat hoping and praying no one else can smell your stank pus?  Lol

Would you agree that there are levels of coochie funk?  Like moderately funky, and highly funky? 

I guess y’all are wondering where all this is coming from, huh?  Well, lemme tell ya!  I tend to enjoy smelling myself…  last night I got home and I  grab some sweats off the floor, and when I sat down, the aroma hit me…  and I said: you stink!   (Writing this at work and chuckling like crazy) and then I got a good whiff and I said:  but it’s that good stink!   (If there is such a thing… with me, there is)… the good stink made me horny as hell!  Any who, I got to thinking about stinky pus and how some women have NO clue…

I’m getting fat!   And the fatter I get the more I sweat under my tits… now that can stink! I need help, cause this is a NEW issue for me… now the interesting thing is this, it only stinks when I have on flavored soufflé, and that’s ALL I wear… guess I need to STOP lathering the milk cartons with body soufflé huh? Being obese sucks! 

I hate when I go to the nail salon and the Korean woman wants to rush me so she can make more money!  I try to tell her ALL the time, the more you rush me, the less your tip will be (keep in mind most of the hood girls are NOT tipping)… now for the umpteenth time, this bitch rushed me, and you can’t rush gel nails, the shit gets all wrinkled… but, cause her silly lil ass rushed me, I now get to go back tonight, for a repolish, and she gets to miss out on more money!  HA!

Can you tell the difference between: Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese upon first sight?  I can.  It’s something my mother taught me!  It’s all in the eyes and the shape of the their face… and yes they all slant, but it’s the depth of the slant… 

I often think I’ve been Bi all my life…  I was one of those lil kids that got caught exploring with otha lil girls… now; the interesting thing is I was always the one whose parents were called…  WTF? 

Although I’m Bi, I don’t know if I enjoy eating pussy as much as my bi friends do…  I mean I enjoy it, but I don’t love it!  I think, once again “I think”, I’m one of those women that like to be taken advantage of by other women, where I lay there and they do all types of  nasty, painfully cruel things to my body  (is there something wrong with me?) I said “I think”, cuase I have yet to experience that, and have nothing to base the desire on other than my twisted thoughts!  Now, I love women, I LOVE THEM, but I enjoy exploring them more than anything…  I like playing in pussy with my fingers, and I enjoy kissing and sticking my finger in their asses (only if my nails aren’t too long), but, my absolute favorite it titties…  I love sucking, biting, and nibbling on nipples!   So, with all that said, does that mean I’m Semi-Bi?

I also like women who have fat clits!  Fat clits are easier to play with!   Lol…  I’m inexperienced… but fa real, when a girl has a lil bitty clit, I feel like my jaws are going to lock cause you got to put in so much got damn work, lookin for the damn clit!   Sometimes I just wanna ask a woman: I’m sorry and what size did you say your clit was?  

Have you ever paid attention to a woman’s pussy lips?  Fa real, have you?  I swear some women have lips that hang very low!  There’s something both sexy and weird about that… this one chick tied her lips together, and all the while I was both intrigued, and disgusted… but I sure enjoyed playing with them!  

I’m still amazed at men who have “arm candy” but desire, “Thicky Ricardo’s”…  this takes me back to the other night at the pool party…  dude that I fucked had the baddest bitch in the house, she was FINE, at least to me, but dude couldn’t get enough of my big tittie ass  (matter of fact he’s hitting me up NOW)…  don’t get me wrong, I have high self esteem, and I loves me some Teal, even though she’s fat and is slowly squeezing into a size 16…  it simply amazes me that dudes marry Halle Barry,  and cheat with Monique…

I firmly believe that if SOME married women didn’t get so damn comfortable in married life, their straying ass husbands wouldn’t stray!  Granted some men are dogs that will cheat regardless how good shit is at home…  but trust and believe that the majority of the cheating men cheat, cuz wifey jus isn’t doin what she usta do!  I hear it time and time again…  I LOVE getting into the heads of married men… and because I listen to them, and remember every damn thing, you best believe I will be supa wife!  I will put my supa ho outfit on, fuck his brains out, stimulate his ass with some fucking stimulating conversation, all the while ordering dinner from Schwann’s and nursing babies….   LADIES, if you ain’t handlin ya business, trust and believe some other woman will!   For all my married friends, don’t start no shit with me…  this is the TRUTH!

My girl Dee ( I swear she would KILL me, if she knew how much her name came up in my blog this week… the devils blog!)  but,  her husband purchased a bike against her will, and without her knowledge (that in itself was an issue)  every since the weather turned, he has been wanting to take his wife riding…  all she does is bitch and moan about the damn bike, she looks at the bitch and sees: DOWN PAYMENT FOR A HOUSE…  to say she hates the bike is an understatement…  but peep this, the bike is NOT going anywhere, so let it go, Boo!  But more anything, if you don’t ride that damn bike, you best believe BoomSheeka from the hood will be more than happy to straddle that joint!  And then I told her ass: if you know like I know, you’d be bent ova that joint and letting him hit ya fat ass from the back!  She hates me…  but guess who was riding this weekend?  HA!  (don’t fuck with me!  I tell it like it IS…  sometimes!)

Did y’all know I was the keeper of Internet secrets!   It’s both a  privilege and an honor to know the secrets of so many of you…  to think that some people actually seek me out, wanting my advice on some things!   Lil ole me…   *smh* some of my real time friends would find that funny, the funny thing is that most of them don’t know me as well as y’all do!  *wink*  secrets are ALWAYS safe with me…  just had to say that, cause I really do feel honored…

I like to watch the exchange of words via the blog comments!  Some of y’all get emotionally involved in these comments…  some times, I just wanna get some kettle corn, read, and create a visual of how the war of words would go down in person…  hey, I’m all for being passionate about your views, but NOT at the expense of making people feel stupid, or ignorant, and even moré importantly making people feel like their view doesn’t matter,…  some of y’all are DEEP and jive HURTFUL!  But I love it…

I still want a 360/Multiply Wall, like on the L Word…  that way, we can see how many people are sexually connected!   Y’all some nasty fuckers…

Do y’all know that PECAN was in the DC Metro area this weekend, and he didn’t even  let me know!  Talking about he had no way to tell me…  now I know damn well that nukka got a Smart Phone, hell he’s a smart ass mutha fucka, so he gotta have a Smart Phone, plus he works in IT, dammit where there’s a will there’s a way!  Humph, I think he just flirts with me to build my self esteem…   damn him!   Any who, I hope the server crashes in Bethesda, and he has to come back on a weekend he has a lot of shit planned…  *stick tongue out*  and, I’m putting his ass on blast, I sent him my damn phone number, hell I can count on one hand how man men on the net have my number, so PECAN, you Pussy Eating Country Azz N****, next time you in the DMV, you best call a bitch, so she can straddle ya dick, OK?

In closing, I look forward to the day that the word whore is a respectable word… for I have whore’ish moments, and reflecting on those moments brings me great joy!

Also, as I read, and experience the worlds of some of my fellow bloggers, I must thank my parents for my upbringing and early childhood experiences! I swear, the best thing you can do to any child, man or woman, is expose them, to a world beyond television and home!

Now get outta here, go do some work!

*wink*

I’m not sure if I’m a glutton for punishment or just too damn nice…  I don’t consider myself to be a push over – but I’m beginning to think that a few of my acquaintances obviously think I appreciate being stepped on…  no matte what, the older I get the less I can tolerate bullshit, but, for whatever reason, I continue to give some folks chance, after chance, after chance… so I guess I’m a glutton for punishment?!?!?

I have spent the past year getting Papi out of my system…   we went several months with no contact, and I finally started taking his calls again… at the end of the day he and I have an excellent phone flow, and truth be told, I enjoy listening to him blow himself up, and make himself appear bigger than life, and because I know him, I can pretty much decipher the fact from the fiction…  I believe this man lives in a make believe world, I believe that at one time in his life, he was on top of his game, and over the years he has taken a “fall from grace”   I believe that being married to the woman that he is married to, allows him to portray a certain image, but at the end of the day, he’s a just a nigga…   I often times think of the verse from Trick Daddy’s America when I think of him:

You only got 2 bucks and
give less than a fuck --
then you a nigga
Got a nice home and a Lexus
truck -- you a nigga
World champions and you
M.V.P -- you a nigga
4 degrees and a Ph.D -- still a nigga
You use your platinum ??
for ID's -- then you's a
nigga
If your skin is brown
just like me -- then you
a nigga
Got a promotion and a
FAT ass raise -- you
still a nigga
You from the islands and
your peoples wasn't
slaves -- you a nigga
No matter how much your
ass get paid -- you
still a nigga
Shot by the cops at a
traffic stop -- cause
you a nigga…
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]-->

And with the title of being a bona fide nigga comes the bona fide truth that a great deal of niggaz lies thru their damn teeth!  Example:  he has this thing for saying, that wifey is in her “wing” and he is in his “wing” of the house” now if you didn’t know any better, you would think that he lived in a mansion or even a mini mansion…   he lives in a fucking townhouse!   You can’t have “wings” in a fuckin townhouse, it’s more like “floors” she got her floor, and you got your floor!  FLOORS mutha fucka, FLOORS! … WTF?   Any who, I’m getting off track…

In re-opening the lines of communication with the intention to fuck him, cuz truth be told I have yet to find someone as nasty as him, granted I have had bigger, harder, longer lasting, firmer dicks, I have yet to find  anyone who is as “naturally” nasty as him… there’s good dick and there’s nasty dick, I like good nasty dick!  Lol   but the more he continues with the bullshit lying, and not keeping his damn word, the more turned off I become...  what’s so sad about this, is that, this is this mans “normal”  at least it’s his normal with me…  as I sit here and give it further thought, how sad it is that a man can claim to love you and still continue to hit you with bullshit…  the other sad thing is this:  if he would jus keep his damn mouth shut, and NOT come up with these brilliant non existent suggestions, we wouldn’t be going thru this bullshit!   Oh but yes, he’s supa nigga, he can do that!   Lawd help him, and help me for putting up with the madness!   When I see him slipping into his ‘Rani way’, I once again find myself wondering, what the fuck is wrong with me?  And why am I subjecting myself to this mans craziness? I mean damn, am I a fuckin martyr? The whole say one thing and do another… the inability to keep his word, and his inability to admit when he can’t keep his word… how much screaming and hollering can one damn person do about the same damn issue?  And at what point will he “get it”?  (hell, when will I get it!) He continues to suggest that we do something, but he can never do it?  He continues to express his desire to spend time, and yet he can’t do it… and the interesting thing is I could give a fuck; I’m only interested in the SEX…   I don’t feed into his so called wishes, but  I can’t help but analyze it, because I don’t understand how his mind works, and why he does what he does…  and for some crazy reason, I want to figure this shit out! (that’s me…  always analyzing shit!)  I’m at a point, where I could give a fuck about spending time, talking on the phone, and the I love you’s… that shit means NOTHING to me (although it is funny as hell…  in a pathetic kinda way)... I don’t need to break bread, I don’t need to sip on cocktails, I don’t need any of that from him…  yet he insist on putting shit on the table without actually making it happen!  Someone please tell me why this man does this?   He continues to reach out, knowing damn well he brings nothing to my world… well, maybe he brings his nasty sex, but other than that, nothing, and let’s be honest; he can’t even make that happen, nigga so damn scared of his damn man-wife, he’s not willing to make it happen!  (this is some crazy ass shit)…

For the past two months, he has made these bullshit attempts to get together with the intention of FUCKIN, and he has yet to make that shit happen… he finds out I have a job (via 360 blast) and the communication goes from weekly to daily, and he decides he wants to celebrate by taking me to lunch… and I tell him: don’t do that, don’t set yourself up!   But nooooo, he still doesn’t “get it” … and let’s be real, I’m still waiting for the lunch date from the last job offer which was 2 years ago…  And I’m still waiting for this idiot to acknowledge that he can’t make that happen!

Lawd help him, and help me!  Papi,   realize this: concerning affairs outside of the bedroom, you have been conditioned to treat me like shit… and I’m ok with that, I know you’re a piece of shit, and you will always be a piece of shit when it comes to me…  I have no need to do anything that does not involve any form of sexual activity… basically you are a piece of shit, with a nasty dick, no more, no less!  So, listen up, when you get the nerve, the balls, and the loot to arrange a soiree, outside of my damn home (btw, you are no longer welcome in my home!)  Then, you let a sista know!  All that other shit, that makes you want to communicate with me, regarding none sexual shit, such as; how’s lil man?  how’s the job? my momma?  And my life? that ain’t your concern!   Find another ear-piece mine is all waxed da hell up!

With all that said, and believe it or not, papi has taught me a valuable lesson when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex!  No longer do I “sit on things” when I notice inconsistencies, I deal with them immediately…   now, this can be a good or bad thing… but men, y’all gotta stop with the bullshit!  

This brings me to another experience that continues to baffle the hell outta me!   Now, I met this dude online, (hmmm could the common thread be INTERNET MEN) he appeared to be a decent dude, had nice conversation etc… god fearing, kid loving, and a freak…  not nasty, but a freak…   so as I get to know this dude I found myself getting more and more comfortable with sharing something’s that were going on with me…  my sharing was nothing more than getting shit off my chest, I didn’t want or expect him to do shit about my situation…  and suddenly, he decided he wants to help me…  and I was more than appreciative…  now dude gives me all these damn dates, as to when he’s gonna do x,y and z…  and it never happens!   One thing after another…   and he too can’t acknowledge shit…   lawd help me what is goin on with men today!  Now, when I call him out on his shit, cuz for real it was a great deal of shit….  Lie after lie, from Victoria's Secret to cell phones, to birthday gifts and some other insignificant shit (which is the real clincher!  This is all insignificant shit, but a mass of insignificant shit can lead to a BIG problem)  I decided it was time to speak on his shit…  and dude tells me that “I appear to be the kind of woman that keeps a tally of everything a person tells them”…  now is that not how shit works? But on another note, if ya ass was real with ya shit, I wouldn’t be keeping tally!  Hells don’t trip on me; look at self… any who isn’t that human nature to remember what folks tell you?  Especially the “important” shit?  So I called him out, and dude goes on to say that, he’s a man of his word, and low n behold, he still ain’t kept his word, and  the dude had the nerve to lie and say it’s in the mail!  Now, why couldn’t he just be upfront and say, I can’t do it?  *smh*  Lol, what is that?  Now the killer is this; in both of these situations, this is a case of niggaz putting their damn foot in there mouth!  I’m not asking for a lot…  I only ask that you be real, and stop with the bullshit!   I mean damn, it’s one thing to communicate and another thing to over communicate…   now, the sad thing about this dude is his mouth pretty much fucked up a blooming friendship…  rest assured he won’t see it that way…  they never do! 

Listen, if you can’t do something, just say it, and dammit, don’t go volunteering shit, when you know damn well; you can’t make it happen… 

Lawd help me…  I feel better!  

All that to say this, I refuse to tolerate bullshit from the old or the new… come correct or don’t come at all, and if you come at me with the bullshit, I will call you on it, with NO hesitation…

…before I get into this here blog, lemme share one detail, this here blog, is a blog with NO substance, NO rhyme, No reason! 

 I was always taught that when you’re making purchases, and spending your hard earned money, you want quality over quantity…

…my first job was at the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum as a cashier…  I was in the 10^th grade.  Man, you couldn’t tell me shit. I made all of $6.25 per hour… and I was NOT working at McDonald’s, like some of my friends…  the sole purpose of the job was to SHOP, and have FUN… when I got my first check I wanted to SHOP till I DROPPED…  you see I wore a uniform every day, and I wanted to wear the cute hip stuff my friends wore, and of course my momma wasn’t haven’t anything to do with that, she didn’t do “trends”…  she had a VERY structured, borderline preppy look for me…  so I get the first check, and mom says: “Teal, you need to pay yourself, and you need to save, you’ll be going away to college in a few years, and you’ll want your own money”  (she ain’t neva lied, cuz I swear they sent my to Oklahoma, and forgot about my ass until Christmas)... All I knew is I wanted to get my shop on!  At the time my mom was a big Bloomingdales, Garfinkels (old school DC department store!  DMV, y’all remember the flagship store on 14^th and F right?), Woodward and Lothrop kinda chick, and I knew from my weekly shopping missions with her, that I could not afford those stores…  it was NOT an option! 

…before I go any further, my biggest mistake was NOT listening to her when she said, “pay yourself first”… that was the beginning of my money mismanagement issues…  any who, I was determined to buy some damn clothes, and since I couldn’t afford the stores she shopped at on my lil paycheck, I headed to Lerner’s!  Remember Lerner’s ladies?  I think it’s called New York and Company today...  I made my purchases and skipped my happy none fat ass home!   Man, you couldn’t tell me shit…  I was on such a high!  then I walked in the door, and here comes the voice of reason, my damn momma! “Let me see what you have”?  First off when she saw the bag, her nose was all turned da fuck up!  (Truth be told I kinda do that shit, also.  But, I got it from her)...  she asked to see what I purchased, and I gladly showed her…  cuz, I was PROUD!   Hell I got it with my own money, and I was able to pick out my own shit, without her negative comments… can I just tell you that she shocked the shit out of me, and complimented me on my purchases…  and then she dropped the bomb!  I remember it like it was yesterday…  “Very nice pieces Teal.  But, quality over quantity”...  I swear her voice went into a baritone state when she said; QUALITY OVER QUANTITY” she went on to say that when you purchase good classic pieces, they will last you a lifetime… she told me that the items that I had purchased would not last past a year for two reasons, they were cheap, poorly made clothes, and, they were “trendy”….  

…low n behold, a “few” washings, and dry cleanings later, spring turned into summer, and low and behold the shit, was some shit!  And from that moment on I learned that quality beats quantity anyday… she taught me how to appreciate how clothes were made, and to appreciate how slacks were to fit a woman’s body… and, she “was” a diva (now, she’s a retired Birkenstock, dreadlocked, good clothes wearing earthy kinda woman, but still a diva!), and I was her trainee…   on another note, I must mention the seeds..  My daughter is OFF da chain, real FASHIONISTA, where as I prefer more classic timeless pieces… but my son, oh boy, I feel sorry for his wife or girlfriend, cuz lil man will break shit down for a sista!  “You don’t match”…  “Momma those shoes don’t look right” … “momma those heels make your legs look purrty” … I swear he is my BIGGEST critic! 

…but, back to my momma, I can’t help but wonder if she understands that she created this monster? 

Any who, on to the subject of the bog… you know me, I always got to give a ill history! 

Soooooo… last night as I lie across my bed, I did what I always do…  I drew a mental picture of what I was gonna wear to work…  I decided on my favorite pair of black slacks!  Every girl has a pair…  the ones that fit you just right, the ones that give you that extra swagger, the ones that you would KILL for…  mine are my beloved Donna Karan’s…  now, I’m not talkin DKNY, nor am I talkin Donna Karan sport…  I’m talking Donna Karan black label, $400.00 slacks!  Man, I love these damn slacks… I purchased these slacks in 1995, I was working at Neimans part-time, simply to feed my shopping habit, and I got the pants on sale, and with my discount, the bitches still cost me $285.00…  you couldn’t tell me nothin!  

… a year ago, I started to notice that the silk lining was starting to show signs of wear and tear…  but I kept wearing them, hell it was just the lining…   I wore them last week for the first time in awhile, and as I was walking I could feel the lining doing STRANGE things, a sign that it was time to let them go…  in an effort to save my beloved Donna Karan slacks, I took my ass to the tailor, and asked her what could be done!  She laughed, and told me to cut the lining out, and then she complimented the cut, texture, and craftsmanship!  Dammit, I knew these shits were the bomb, and worth keepin… 

So here I sit today, in my damn slacks, and I honestly think, they will have to be placed in the 3^rd closet (the, I can’t possibly throw THAT away closet)...  granted, they still look good, and I still look good in them, but the damn things are 13 years old… and since I cut out the lining, they don’t feel right!  Now, they still look good on me, but, they are hanging on by a thread...  my babies are dying on me…

So this is my ode to my Donna Karan slacks… oh how I love thee… You took me from winter to summer and still looked good… from no panties at all, to thongs, to my boy cut shorts, you made my ass look like a coffee cup stop…   from Sunday brunch, to Monday’s staff meeting, you always stood out, and filled in whateva clothing blank!   I thank you Donna Karan slacks, for you have served me well, and If nothing else, I gots my money worth…

Ok, I’m trippin, but I swear I am emotionally attached to these bitches!   And the thought of giving up one of my first “major” clothing purchase is making me a lil sad…   but, I will survive, because at the end of the day… it’s just a piece of textile! 

But boy did they make me smile!  Lol

So, if u made it this far, tell me about your “favorite” luxury item..  Do u agree in quality over quantity or do you prefer a mass of whateva?  

What’s up peeps!   I’ve been bloggin for days but I have yet to finish anything… I’m sitting here at work, thinking about SEX… more than anything, I’m sitting here thinking about how much I get off on being talked dirty too… we all know that although sex is a physical act, it requires a great deal of mental stimulationin order to really get off… one thing that guarantees me a wholesome nut is a man or woman who is skilled in talking dirty…  I jus LOVE IT… 

Now, I’ve heard many a man brag about his dirty talking skills, but when its time to take care of business, they usually fall short…  I dunno if it’s nerves or if dude is engrossed in his own nut, but usually the dirty talk is out the window… often times leaving me in a state of disappointment…

You know, I’m really a simple girl, and I really don’t require much!  Just a manly-man, one who knows how to eat pussy, who knows how to fuck, one who can follow my cue… one who has the where with all to get down right nasty when I need him to, and one who can give me a good verbal tongue lashing when he’s buried deep inside me… that’s not a lot, is it?  Of course not! 

I have found that no matter how much dude is NOT handling his business, if he chooses his words wisely, I’m getting off… funny thing is that I’m a VERY hard sistah to please, rarely will I cum, but that’s my issue, however, if dude is talking that dirty talk, it allows me to go to never-never land, and it’s ON!

The funny thing is most tend to lead me to believe that they have the necessary skills to get the message across, but when it’s time to go toe-to-toe, they seem to fall short!  Oh well, what’s a girl to do?  You got’s to educate these men, that’s what we must do!

So, how do you encourage a man to talk dirty to you? Some are natural talents, some need guidance, then you have the few who can’t switch gears, because they were taught to not disrespect a woman in any shape form or fashion…   but is it disrespectful to call me a bitch, when I’m requesting it?  Hell no!   if it’s done behind closed doors in a manner that’s acceptable to me, than I can only hope that the chosen one will oblige me…   truth be told, I more prefer you call me outta name, than tell me how much you love my pussy!  Hell, I know u love my pussy, or your wouldn’t be buried deep inside of it… lol

So how does one brush up on his or her, dirty talk skills? They follow these simple pointers, that I dug up via about.com…  now, before I list the pointers, I must say this, if it doesn’t come natural, or if you are not good at giving academy award winning performances, then, you need not play around with dirty talk!  Nothing worse than a fake talking dirty talker to dry up the pussy, and ruin the whole experience…  lol

Be authentic in your dirty talk ~  “good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk (e.g. the ravished submissive) you need to find something of yourself in the role. Make a list of different aspects of your personality you can draw on for inspiration”.  Just be true to yourself, and the needs of the person your attempting to talk dirty too!

Find your dirty talk voice ~ “You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality.   The deeper the voice, the more I believe ya ass!

Expand your dirty talk vocabulary ~ “Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role playing calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis)”.  Nothing worse than being in the mix and dude saying: your vagina is so wet!   Vagina?  What the hell!

Establish ground rules with your partner ~ “It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing”. As with every damn thing concerning relationships, you gotta communicate!  Dude may prefer “cock” over “dick”!

Start slow the first time ~ “Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my….” Or “Your …feels so good on/in my…” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in your body”.  See, it’s nothing more than a verbal break down of what he or she is doing at that moment!  If he’s finger fuckin you, you could say: daddy, I want you to slip another finger in this wet pussy; I want your fingers to be drenched in my pussy juices… he leads with the act, you follow with the talk, or vice-versa… 

Make dirty talking a two way conversation ~ “Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know”.  Me personally, I love to be talked dirty too, and don’t mind a fair exchange if the flow is good… but. I must admit, it’s not my thing!

So, you may be asking, why da hell did she write this damn blog?  Dammit, because I need some straight up animalistic sex, with a whole lotta dirty talking…  I want it straight no chaser!   Lol… 

Aight, so today’s question is simple: do YOU enjoy talking dirty, or being talked dirty too? And if you like it, what type of stuff do you like to hear, or say?  Does it add to your experience, or does it turn you off?

We as a society are so caught up in numbers!  How many Benjamin’s we have? How many cars you own?  Numbers, numbers, numbers, 10, 111, 21, 75, 5, damn numbers!

The other day I was hanging with my girls and we got to talking about, how many partners we had, I stated my number, and then my girl stated her number, and we both agreed that we mos def had some stories to tell, and that these particular numbers need not be shared with are significant others, or potential significant others… bottom-line, dudes can’t handle hearing that their woman has slept with more than 5 men!  

I had the same conversation regarding my numbers with a 360 buddy who helps me pass the day…  yesterday we were on a mid afternoon chat and somehow we got on the subject of how many partners I had…  and because I know this guy, and I consider him to be a pretty cool dude; I shared my number without shame!   It was funny because I told him NOT to share with anyone else, and he obliged…  guess, i was lil ashamed.. NOT!

I’m sitting here reflecting on both conversations and I have a few questions for my peeps… why is it important to know how many partners your significant other has had?   But more than anything, why is it such a mind blower when I woman shares her magic number, and she is immediately labeled, and or thought of as a slut… but, let  a man share his number, and he’s suddenly Don Juan, lover of many, heartbreaker of many more…

I need help in understanding the “how many partners” numbers game is played in this day of sexual freedom, is it really THAT important? Especially if you know this person is sexually healthy, and not risking your life… but more than anything, when I look at my number of past partners, I realized that most of these soiree’s took place during a different time in my life...  THE PAST!  Does having knowledge of ones past partners change the rhythm of the blossoming relationship?

This is the so called “real-talk” that I often hear about as I cruise the village of 360 and multiply…   so talk to me peeps! Give me some “real-comments” on this real question…

And if your really bold, what’s your magic partner number?  Lol

*muah*

...What’s up peeps! Yawl know how I do, I likes to keep things saucy up in this piece... Once again, my mind is racing, and I’m thinkin about: "all things sexual".... For my new peeps, please don’t assume that I’m all sex all the time, cuz, there is so much more to Ms Teal... but in the land of 360, it’s about Ms Teal pushing her sexual envelope all the while pushin your sexual envelope...

...here’s hoping everyone had a spectacular weekend! I must say that my weekend was very relaxing... Friday evening, I vegged out, and just enjoyed having my house to myself, and I also took the time to luxuriate in self... Oh how I love to luxuriate in self, especially when the lil one is gone, and especially when it’s raining out side.... What a great nite! I made some magic, just me, my two fingers and my pussy... It was glorious...

…i hate to be such a bitch, but the bottom line is that I carry it very fuckin well, especially in a work environment… and when I say bitch, I don’t mean “nasty” bitch, but “use what you got to get what you want” creative type of bitch…

Sidebar: ok, I just proof read this blog before posting it, and I’m not sure why the above intro/paragraph was written, but fuck it… I’m keeping it!

…i am a visual person, I like nice things, and I’m much happier when I’m surrounded by nice things, especially in my work environment… As you all know, I’m currently playing the role of “Temp Whore”, not a role I enjoy, but, it pays the mortgage… I am currently doing some temp work for a local Real Estate listing firm, the spot has two offices one in King Farm, which is an “OK” office, and another location which is around the corner in Falls Grove … the Falls Grove spot is straight nasty… I mean disgusting… now, the first issue is that folks can dress casual every fuckin day… now some of you may like that shit, but I think it’s pathetic, unfortunately you can not have a mass of “young” colored people in an office that’s dressed casually every fuckin day… if I could take pictures of the shit I see every day, you’d be outdone… for example: handsome guy with braids, half of the braids are in tact the other half he’s in the process of taken out, and he walks around looking like a damn fool every damn day… one chick wears slippers all damn day long, ok if your fuckin feet hurt, put on some day natrualizers or easy spirits, WTF?… then there’s the 300 pound chick who wears denim clam diggers, not capri’s but clam diggers with freakin cowboy boots, and the clam diggers are tight as hell and her ass is big as hell, sit a coffee cup and saucer big… and also, it is NOTHIN to hear an out burst of “ni**a what” amongst my ghetto ass co-workers!

…now, the desk I’m sitting at has inches of dust on it, over it, and around it… for the past few weeks I have a been suffering with these horrible allergy attacks, keep in mind I never had allergy problems! (yes dammit, I cleaned the damn desk!) My eyes get all fucked up and by time I roll up outta this joint I look like I’m a battered damn wife, minus the bruises! It’s the craziest shit I've ever experienced… I sneeze, cough, and go thru all sorts of gyrations all resulting from “nasty ass office”… now, you say, it can’t be that bad! WHAT THE FUCK EVER… I called in sick on Tuesday to focus on the interview at the very posh, very upscale national securities firm, and low n’ behold when I get back Wednesday, my damn chair is missing in action… so, what do I do, I go on a search and destroy mission lookin for my chair, now trust and believe the chair I had was no prize chair, but my body had gotten used to the nastiness in that chair, and my skin and said chair were learning to get along! Hell I had to be extra cautious when I wore skirts, cuz my damn twat would have some type of crazy ass reaction… now, it could been mental, but my got damn pussy would itch whenever I would wear a damn dress or skirt! And dammit, I got legs, and I like to wear skirts and dresses, A LOT… so, I hunt for my chair, and no damn chair! So I get a new nasty ass chair, and I swear my legs are goin thru some shit, may ass has been itchin and scratchin all damn day long… nasty ass fuckin place, with these nasty ass fuckin chairs… ugggghhhhhh….

…the cool thing is the company is moving in January to a brand new building that they are building, this joint is gonna be NICE… all glass office, glass cubicles, the whole nine yards… and new furniture (thank goodness!) I can only hope that they change the dress code, cuz I firmly believe they need to go in that joint with a new philosophy regarding dress code…

…so, this brings me to my interview at the, very posh, very upscale national securities firm, which happens to be up the street!… so I’m sitting in my interview, and everything is goin well, and then he asked me about my assignment at “nasty ass firm”… he asked if I would go on as a permanent employee if they offered… first and foremost, you can look at my face and always get a clear idea of what I’m thinking… ( I need to grow outta that shit)… anywho, after I gave him the “funky, fuck that face”, I told him “NO”, and really wanted to say: “OH HELL NO”… he asked why, I stated the following in my most professional non bitchy way:

The office lacks professionalism... which I cleaned up with some “culture” shit, which is the new term in corporate America… I something to the fact that it would not be a “good fit”… and then I told him that I was sure they would not be able to meet my salary requirements… now, when I said that shit, all I saw on his face was: who da fuck does this bitch think she is… but hell, I was honest!

…so here I sit, playing the role of “Temp Whore” once again… hopefully not for long, and I can only hope that I find a job in a nice cushy environment where I will not be looked at like a damn idiot for wearing a fuckin suit, and some damn heels a.k.a professional attire, and no cursing all throughout the office… damn, what ever happened to office etiquette, and why don’t the folks In charge say something? At the end of the day, you get what you pay for…

..aight, you know I got a question for yawl! Is your work environment important to you? Now, think this shit out, we spend more time at work than we do at home, so don’t you wanna be surrounded around nice people, and an overall nice office. Trust me, I know this shit is superficial, but hell this shit is important to my black ass! In closing when we get down to brass tactics, let a job offer come my way paying me a monster ass salary, and the office look like some nasty ass shit… humph, my ass will walk up in that joint in a fuckin “merry maid” outfit, lysol, pine-sol, and some more shit in my hands, and I’mma get ta cleaning!

…whew damn, I feel betta now… excuse me as I take a pause for the scratch pause, my right calf is itchin like a mutha fucka! Ugggghhhh….

…what’s up peeps! A sista is sooo feelin herself today, and thought I’d post a lil something-somethin in an effort to wipe yesterday’s slate clean… I mean, it is a new day and all…

…before I move on to my question’s, I’mma give you all a quick follow up to yesterday’s drama… after leaving work, I stopped at my local police station and as a pre-caution, I filed a report… the sergeant (and what a cute sergeant he was!) contacted Papi, and I would say it’s safe to say he will NOT be contacting anymore… I gotta tell ya, I was on a fuckin cloud yesterday, and I let my girlfriend talk me into checkin my cell phone messages to see what he was up too, the moment I checked those messages was the moment my day went to shit… but, what was done had to be done… for the record, I am not about the destruction of family… I am and will always be the one who will give you enough rope to hang yourself… I gave him plenty of rope, buy askin him to back off for weeks, fuck it months…he hung him self, and I had to do what I had to do, of course he will NEVER see it that way, but oh well, he has his own way of thinking… trust and believe it fucks with me to involve wifey, but enough was enough, and this too shall pass… and they will recover, cause she loves her man!

…lets talk bi-sexuality!

…aight, I find myself a tad curious about women and bi-sexuality… now we have some who embrace it, name it and claim it, without an issue… then we have those who are closet bi-sexual… then you have the ones like me, who embrace it, but don’t necessarily brag about it… some may wonder what I mean when I say that… see, for me I am comfortable with my bi-sexuality, however my close friends and family aren’t aware of my bi-sexuality… now, my friends know I swing on occasion, and they also know that I have participated in a threesome or two, or three in the past few years.. now if they were smart they’d be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together… deep down they probably think and know I’m Bi, but just aren’t bold enough to inquire… if they asked, I’d have NO problem telling them, now at one time, yes, I woulda been like OH HELL NO… but, that was only because I hadn’t wrapped my brain around the idea of being bi-sexual…

…so where am I goin with this? well, my “for my girls” blog got me thinking… I have several 360 female friends who aren’t bi-sexual, but I think they would be more than comfortable being in an all girl sex filled arena… my question is does that make them, open-minded, borderline bi-curious, or simply a voyeur?

…my next question is for my swingers… particularly my married/attached female swingers… now I need help with this… if you swing, and your married, and your straight, are you not engaging with females at all? Are your husband and or significant other indulging with females and you watch? Or is it the type of situation where you allow the females to play with you, but you do not reciprocate in kind?

…lastly, for my straight females… out of curiosity, I have this simple question for you... some of you have been around my pages for the past two years… you know how I roll, and how graphic some of my blogs can be… at one time, I was just a name, and nothing but, tits, clit, pussy, ass, and lips… now, I know some of yawl saw those damn pictures, and read those damn blogs, and I know it made you tingle, now I could be wrong, and for real some of yawl will read this shitt, and not respond AT ALL, either in the comment section or private message… my question to you is this, although it “might” make you tingle, does it concern you that it may make cause such a reaction? For my straight girls, do you feel that your open minded enough to explore the possibilities’ if the opportunity presented itself? Bottom-line, you gotta be open-minded to read some of the shit post!

…talk to me peeps, I am mad curious about this…. You know, I knock know one, to each his own… I can like you, want you, desire you, and wanna feel you up, but at the end of the day, if it’s not your thing; I’m not the one to make it your thing… I just wanna clear understanding of how we see bi-sexuality… is there such thing as borderline bi-sexuality? and lastly, at what point does a woman stop saying she’s bi-curious, and she is either bi or not?

…for me, I am BI, and proud of it…. I’m the kinda girl who craves the touch of a woman on a rare occasion, typically three times a year, weird but true! Truth be told, the female itch is here as we speak, and yes got dammit I need to get it scratched! Any who. I have been BI for sometime now... I started out bi-curious as we all start out, and after the 3^rd encounter I realized that the curious needed to be dropped… my way of thinking is this: the 1^st time was experimental, a way of determining if the interest was genuine, the 2^nd encounter I was less nervous and had a true to desire to be intimate with a woman, the 3rd encounter I was hooked… the flesh of my flesh against her flesh compared to no other sexual encounter… and it was time to stop saying: Bi-Curious!

Talk to me peeps… if you are ashamed, or feel this is a private matter that you don’t mind discussing with Ms. Teal, then hit me via a private message…. Trust your secret is safe with me, those who know me, know that I am not down with the 360 drama, only my own personal drama, lawd knows I got enough of that shit….

*muah*