When you do smell and you’re at work, what do you do? Do you wash up? Do you conceal with a tampon or do you return to your seat hoping and praying no one else can smell your stank pus?  Lol

Would you agree that there are levels of coochie funk?  Like moderately funky, and highly funky? 

I guess y’all are wondering where all this is coming from, huh?  Well, lemme tell ya!  I tend to enjoy smelling myself…  last night I got home and I  grab some sweats off the floor, and when I sat down, the aroma hit me…  and I said: you stink!   (Writing this at work and chuckling like crazy) and then I got a good whiff and I said:  but it’s that good stink!   (If there is such a thing… with me, there is)… the good stink made me horny as hell!  Any who, I got to thinking about stinky pus and how some women have NO clue…

I’m getting fat!   And the fatter I get the more I sweat under my tits… now that can stink! I need help, cause this is a NEW issue for me… now the interesting thing is this, it only stinks when I have on flavored soufflé, and that’s ALL I wear… guess I need to STOP lathering the milk cartons with body soufflé huh? Being obese sucks! 

I hate when I go to the nail salon and the Korean woman wants to rush me so she can make more money!  I try to tell her ALL the time, the more you rush me, the less your tip will be (keep in mind most of the hood girls are NOT tipping)… now for the umpteenth time, this bitch rushed me, and you can’t rush gel nails, the shit gets all wrinkled… but, cause her silly lil ass rushed me, I now get to go back tonight, for a repolish, and she gets to miss out on more money!  HA!

Can you tell the difference between: Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese upon first sight?  I can.  It’s something my mother taught me!  It’s all in the eyes and the shape of the their face… and yes they all slant, but it’s the depth of the slant… 

I often think I’ve been Bi all my life…  I was one of those lil kids that got caught exploring with otha lil girls… now; the interesting thing is I was always the one whose parents were called…  WTF? 

Although I’m Bi, I don’t know if I enjoy eating pussy as much as my bi friends do…  I mean I enjoy it, but I don’t love it!  I think, once again “I think”, I’m one of those women that like to be taken advantage of by other women, where I lay there and they do all types of  nasty, painfully cruel things to my body  (is there something wrong with me?) I said “I think”, cuase I have yet to experience that, and have nothing to base the desire on other than my twisted thoughts!  Now, I love women, I LOVE THEM, but I enjoy exploring them more than anything…  I like playing in pussy with my fingers, and I enjoy kissing and sticking my finger in their asses (only if my nails aren’t too long), but, my absolute favorite it titties…  I love sucking, biting, and nibbling on nipples!   So, with all that said, does that mean I’m Semi-Bi?

I also like women who have fat clits!  Fat clits are easier to play with!   Lol…  I’m inexperienced… but fa real, when a girl has a lil bitty clit, I feel like my jaws are going to lock cause you got to put in so much got damn work, lookin for the damn clit!   Sometimes I just wanna ask a woman: I’m sorry and what size did you say your clit was?  

Have you ever paid attention to a woman’s pussy lips?  Fa real, have you?  I swear some women have lips that hang very low!  There’s something both sexy and weird about that… this one chick tied her lips together, and all the while I was both intrigued, and disgusted… but I sure enjoyed playing with them!  

I’m still amazed at men who have “arm candy” but desire, “Thicky Ricardo’s”…  this takes me back to the other night at the pool party…  dude that I fucked had the baddest bitch in the house, she was FINE, at least to me, but dude couldn’t get enough of my big tittie ass  (matter of fact he’s hitting me up NOW)…  don’t get me wrong, I have high self esteem, and I loves me some Teal, even though she’s fat and is slowly squeezing into a size 16…  it simply amazes me that dudes marry Halle Barry,  and cheat with Monique…

I firmly believe that if SOME married women didn’t get so damn comfortable in married life, their straying ass husbands wouldn’t stray!  Granted some men are dogs that will cheat regardless how good shit is at home…  but trust and believe that the majority of the cheating men cheat, cuz wifey jus isn’t doin what she usta do!  I hear it time and time again…  I LOVE getting into the heads of married men… and because I listen to them, and remember every damn thing, you best believe I will be supa wife!  I will put my supa ho outfit on, fuck his brains out, stimulate his ass with some fucking stimulating conversation, all the while ordering dinner from Schwann’s and nursing babies….   LADIES, if you ain’t handlin ya business, trust and believe some other woman will!   For all my married friends, don’t start no shit with me…  this is the TRUTH!

My girl Dee ( I swear she would KILL me, if she knew how much her name came up in my blog this week… the devils blog!)  but,  her husband purchased a bike against her will, and without her knowledge (that in itself was an issue)  every since the weather turned, he has been wanting to take his wife riding…  all she does is bitch and moan about the damn bike, she looks at the bitch and sees: DOWN PAYMENT FOR A HOUSE…  to say she hates the bike is an understatement…  but peep this, the bike is NOT going anywhere, so let it go, Boo!  But more anything, if you don’t ride that damn bike, you best believe BoomSheeka from the hood will be more than happy to straddle that joint!  And then I told her ass: if you know like I know, you’d be bent ova that joint and letting him hit ya fat ass from the back!  She hates me…  but guess who was riding this weekend?  HA!  (don’t fuck with me!  I tell it like it IS…  sometimes!)

Did y’all know I was the keeper of Internet secrets!   It’s both a  privilege and an honor to know the secrets of so many of you…  to think that some people actually seek me out, wanting my advice on some things!   Lil ole me…   *smh* some of my real time friends would find that funny, the funny thing is that most of them don’t know me as well as y’all do!  *wink*  secrets are ALWAYS safe with me…  just had to say that, cause I really do feel honored…

I like to watch the exchange of words via the blog comments!  Some of y’all get emotionally involved in these comments…  some times, I just wanna get some kettle corn, read, and create a visual of how the war of words would go down in person…  hey, I’m all for being passionate about your views, but NOT at the expense of making people feel stupid, or ignorant, and even moré importantly making people feel like their view doesn’t matter,…  some of y’all are DEEP and jive HURTFUL!  But I love it…

I still want a 360/Multiply Wall, like on the L Word…  that way, we can see how many people are sexually connected!   Y’all some nasty fuckers…

Do y’all know that PECAN was in the DC Metro area this weekend, and he didn’t even  let me know!  Talking about he had no way to tell me…  now I know damn well that nukka got a Smart Phone, hell he’s a smart ass mutha fucka, so he gotta have a Smart Phone, plus he works in IT, dammit where there’s a will there’s a way!  Humph, I think he just flirts with me to build my self esteem…   damn him!   Any who, I hope the server crashes in Bethesda, and he has to come back on a weekend he has a lot of shit planned…  *stick tongue out*  and, I’m putting his ass on blast, I sent him my damn phone number, hell I can count on one hand how man men on the net have my number, so PECAN, you Pussy Eating Country Azz N****, next time you in the DMV, you best call a bitch, so she can straddle ya dick, OK?

In closing, I look forward to the day that the word whore is a respectable word… for I have whore’ish moments, and reflecting on those moments brings me great joy!

Also, as I read, and experience the worlds of some of my fellow bloggers, I must thank my parents for my upbringing and early childhood experiences! I swear, the best thing you can do to any child, man or woman, is expose them, to a world beyond television and home!

Now get outta here, go do some work!

*wink*

First and foremost, THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY…  I’ve spent the whole week wishing I had a smart phone, it seems that I come up with some juicy shit as I  ride the train, reading Master/Slave, and listen to people as they converse via cell phone for all to hear…  which brings me to my first rant, observation, whateva the hell you’d like to call it…

Ok, I know folks need to handle their business while on the train, and the bus, I get that… hell I have friends who converse via cell on the train and bus, and lawd knows I am not knocking anybody, but dammit that shit drives me crazy!   I mean to make a quick call to check on the whereabouts of kids, and to firm up the evenings plans is one thing, but damn y’all to hell who have long, “loud” detailed conversations for all to hear…  I mean really, it’s an enclosed public space; must I listen to you converse with your peeps about Uncle Charlie’s colon cancer, and what the best options are?  C’mon now, some conversations are meant to be had in the privacy of your home!  OMG, then you have the foreigners, is it me, or do they speak extremely loud?  I swear to God, and all things holy, Ethiopians get ta speaking their language on the “Ride On” and their voices raise 10 octaves!  Dammit, I’m trynna read…  I swear sometimes, I wanna say something…  but I just mind my business and save it for the blog….    Btw, kudos to the folks who realize it is rude, and makes a special effort to speak low, and keep it short!  Lol

I have done more walking in the last, 3 weeks then I have in the last 30 years…  I can not say that enough!  Everyday I walk thru a park in downtown D.C., Franklin Park.  Now, this park is located directly across the street from a homeless shelter…   the shelter use to be a school that my mom taught at, (I had to mention that because whenever I walk by the school I go back to my childhood, cause I would go there everyday after school…  I have issue with traveling back in time!)   Any who, so the homeless folks hang out in the park, all damn day…   now riddle me this?  Why is it that, every damn day without fail, I see some damn homeless man with his dick pulled out, pissing on a damn tree?  I swear I do… and peep this, have u ever seen homeless dick?  I swear there is a difference!  Homeless dick is wrinkled and the fume the piss emits is enough to kill every ant, worm, squirrel, plant or tree in the park!  Now, the other interesting observation about this shelter is this, I have determined that there are 2 types of people who reside in this shelter…   the ones who really don’t mind being homeless, they sit back, piss in parks, drink there drank, puff their borrowed cigarettes, and chill…  and then you have the ones, who make an effort to get dressed everyday, I’m talking suits and dresses, like they are goin to work, and if they do nothing but walk up and down 13^th street, to feel like productive members of society than dammit, that’s what they do: walk up and down the street in their Sunday best!   Now granted, I realize this is a serious issue, but this is my take on what I see as I sit from my 4^th floor window…

The job is good…  I am pleased with what I am doing, and day by day, I’m learning more and more…. Although I tend to have mini panic attacks throughout the damn day, I never-ever let them see me sweat, and I forge on!  And mad praises to the sista in the office who could see the panic on my face after I was given another duty!  I finally admitted to her that I didn’t have a clue about Excel, Power Point, and Abode Captivate!  Girlfriend has taken the time to give me crash courses on all three…  I’ve always been in corporate America, where you come up with an idea, come up with a plan of action, and then pass it on to someone who then puts your vision on paper… so it’s been an experience… on another note, why do people try to test you?  My position  requires constant responding to emails, all day, every damn day…  so yesterday one of the account managers sends me an email, asking me when I was gonna follow up with one of her clients?  And I was like; damn Teal, you’ve been so on top of your game, how did I drop the ball on this?  Well I immediately start searching outlook, inside and out, every fuckin folder!   Low n behold NOTHING…  so I quickly told this lil bitch that she never sent me the request, however I’ll jump right on it…  this bitch wanted to argue me down…  now, I’d like to think there are two sides to Teal, kind/gentle/compassionate/laid back/non-confrontational Teal, and there’s bourghetto Teal the eye rolling/neck twisting, teeth sucking/curses like a sailor, and will not hesitate to tell you in a  professional way, YOU’S A FUKCIN LIAR!  But, I was cool, it takes A LOT to push my buttons, I tend to take more than the average human, and then I get to a point where I’m just DONE…  that seems to be true in my professional, personal, and online life… and when I’m DONE, I’m DONE (with the exception of that damn papi, who I have decided is INSANE).

Sidebar: Moving forward, this is NOT directed to anyone, so please DO NOT hit me with the, ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT ME!  No got dammit!  And if you think I am talkin’ bout you, then look in the mirror, NOT ME…  lol

Speaking of buttons being pushed!  Boy was this the week for that…  I am starting to realize more and more than my tolerance level for folks inadequacies, and unwillingness to move beyond there personal drama, rather it be work drama, lifestyle drama, relationship drama, climbing outta the gutter drama, what the fuck eva, is more than I can stand…   with that said,  I think as humans beings when we care about people and we see a loved one not living up to his or her full potential, we often want to help them to be the best that they can be…  experience has taught me that in the end it’s like dealing with an addict…  they have to want it for themselves, and until they do want it, they will continue in the same hole they’ve been in from the moment you were placed  in their lives… that pains me to no end…   I tend to take on other folks issues, when I see something or someone who is worthy of so much more, I want more for that person…  when I see someone hurting, I want to STOP the hurt…  I am learning that folks have to want it for themselves, and there isn’t shit I can do about it…   what I haven’t learned is how to still be supportive of friends when I see them at a stand still, and when I think about it, I get that from my mother (not good), she will cut a person off in New York minute, and I find that I too am guilty of such behavior…  it bothers me, because in a sense, I feel like I’m draining myself worrying about the next persons shit…  it’s an issue I have, and I acknowledge it, and I’m working on it daily…  but at the same time, I am a passionate, compassionate individual who really wants more for the people that I call FRIEND… it’s like how can they not see what, I see?...  we are all works in progress forever learning, forever growing…   my question is how to be supportive when you see the progress stops and for some folks the progress never started?  Tricky for Teal! 

Drama is a very interesting word, a word that takes on many faces… but, I gotta tell ya something; “net drama” is a totally different beast… ain’t no drama like net drama. See, with net drama, you really don’t know who’s doing what, and why…   all of us 360 and Multiply folks got motives for doing what we do, rather it be networking, building friendships, or simple relief from the 9 to 5 office bullshit… the net gives us the ability to hide behind your true self, and lead folks to believe one thing when it’s really another..  I’ve come to the conclusion that “WE” are all “CRAZY”  fa real!  Different degrees of crazy, but none the less crazy…  some of us are “crazy cool”, some of us are “crazy insane”…  the real work is figuring out what box you belong in, and what box the peeps on your friends list belong in… and peeps, need a remind you, that every person on your friend list, is NOT your friend?  HELLO… WAKE UP!  I offer you this simple advice, don’t read too much into shit that you can’t authenticate, touch and feel…   I’ve been hearing some crazy shit as of lately, and all I can say is this:  FOLLOW YOUR GUT…  if it smells like a rat, than dammit it’s a rat…  and ladies, ladies, ladies, protect your hearts, your wallets, and your God given common sense, cause folks will test you, if you show any sign of weakness, they will prey on you…  this goes for the men also, lemme tell ya, there are some vicious ass vindictive ass, shady ass bitches out here, who are simply out to run game on you!  

Inclosing, I will leave you all with this: Karma Is a real bitch, and trust and believe for every dirty deed you do to another it will come back twice fold…

Now get busy living, and while you’re at it, have a great weekend! 

I’m not sure if I’m a glutton for punishment or just too damn nice…  I don’t consider myself to be a push over – but I’m beginning to think that a few of my acquaintances obviously think I appreciate being stepped on…  no matte what, the older I get the less I can tolerate bullshit, but, for whatever reason, I continue to give some folks chance, after chance, after chance… so I guess I’m a glutton for punishment?!?!?

I have spent the past year getting Papi out of my system…   we went several months with no contact, and I finally started taking his calls again… at the end of the day he and I have an excellent phone flow, and truth be told, I enjoy listening to him blow himself up, and make himself appear bigger than life, and because I know him, I can pretty much decipher the fact from the fiction…  I believe this man lives in a make believe world, I believe that at one time in his life, he was on top of his game, and over the years he has taken a “fall from grace”   I believe that being married to the woman that he is married to, allows him to portray a certain image, but at the end of the day, he’s a just a nigga…   I often times think of the verse from Trick Daddy’s America when I think of him:

You only got 2 bucks and
give less than a fuck --
then you a nigga
Got a nice home and a Lexus
truck -- you a nigga
World champions and you
M.V.P -- you a nigga
4 degrees and a Ph.D -- still a nigga
You use your platinum ??
for ID's -- then you's a
nigga
If your skin is brown
just like me -- then you
a nigga
Got a promotion and a
FAT ass raise -- you
still a nigga
You from the islands and
your peoples wasn't
slaves -- you a nigga
No matter how much your
ass get paid -- you
still a nigga
Shot by the cops at a
traffic stop -- cause
you a nigga…
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And with the title of being a bona fide nigga comes the bona fide truth that a great deal of niggaz lies thru their damn teeth!  Example:  he has this thing for saying, that wifey is in her “wing” and he is in his “wing” of the house” now if you didn’t know any better, you would think that he lived in a mansion or even a mini mansion…   he lives in a fucking townhouse!   You can’t have “wings” in a fuckin townhouse, it’s more like “floors” she got her floor, and you got your floor!  FLOORS mutha fucka, FLOORS! … WTF?   Any who, I’m getting off track…

In re-opening the lines of communication with the intention to fuck him, cuz truth be told I have yet to find someone as nasty as him, granted I have had bigger, harder, longer lasting, firmer dicks, I have yet to find  anyone who is as “naturally” nasty as him… there’s good dick and there’s nasty dick, I like good nasty dick!  Lol   but the more he continues with the bullshit lying, and not keeping his damn word, the more turned off I become...  what’s so sad about this, is that, this is this mans “normal”  at least it’s his normal with me…  as I sit here and give it further thought, how sad it is that a man can claim to love you and still continue to hit you with bullshit…  the other sad thing is this:  if he would jus keep his damn mouth shut, and NOT come up with these brilliant non existent suggestions, we wouldn’t be going thru this bullshit!   Oh but yes, he’s supa nigga, he can do that!   Lawd help him, and help me for putting up with the madness!   When I see him slipping into his ‘Rani way’, I once again find myself wondering, what the fuck is wrong with me?  And why am I subjecting myself to this mans craziness? I mean damn, am I a fuckin martyr? The whole say one thing and do another… the inability to keep his word, and his inability to admit when he can’t keep his word… how much screaming and hollering can one damn person do about the same damn issue?  And at what point will he “get it”?  (hell, when will I get it!) He continues to suggest that we do something, but he can never do it?  He continues to express his desire to spend time, and yet he can’t do it… and the interesting thing is I could give a fuck; I’m only interested in the SEX…   I don’t feed into his so called wishes, but  I can’t help but analyze it, because I don’t understand how his mind works, and why he does what he does…  and for some crazy reason, I want to figure this shit out! (that’s me…  always analyzing shit!)  I’m at a point, where I could give a fuck about spending time, talking on the phone, and the I love you’s… that shit means NOTHING to me (although it is funny as hell…  in a pathetic kinda way)... I don’t need to break bread, I don’t need to sip on cocktails, I don’t need any of that from him…  yet he insist on putting shit on the table without actually making it happen!  Someone please tell me why this man does this?   He continues to reach out, knowing damn well he brings nothing to my world… well, maybe he brings his nasty sex, but other than that, nothing, and let’s be honest; he can’t even make that happen, nigga so damn scared of his damn man-wife, he’s not willing to make it happen!  (this is some crazy ass shit)…

For the past two months, he has made these bullshit attempts to get together with the intention of FUCKIN, and he has yet to make that shit happen… he finds out I have a job (via 360 blast) and the communication goes from weekly to daily, and he decides he wants to celebrate by taking me to lunch… and I tell him: don’t do that, don’t set yourself up!   But nooooo, he still doesn’t “get it” … and let’s be real, I’m still waiting for the lunch date from the last job offer which was 2 years ago…  And I’m still waiting for this idiot to acknowledge that he can’t make that happen!

Lawd help him, and help me!  Papi,   realize this: concerning affairs outside of the bedroom, you have been conditioned to treat me like shit… and I’m ok with that, I know you’re a piece of shit, and you will always be a piece of shit when it comes to me…  I have no need to do anything that does not involve any form of sexual activity… basically you are a piece of shit, with a nasty dick, no more, no less!  So, listen up, when you get the nerve, the balls, and the loot to arrange a soiree, outside of my damn home (btw, you are no longer welcome in my home!)  Then, you let a sista know!  All that other shit, that makes you want to communicate with me, regarding none sexual shit, such as; how’s lil man?  how’s the job? my momma?  And my life? that ain’t your concern!   Find another ear-piece mine is all waxed da hell up!

With all that said, and believe it or not, papi has taught me a valuable lesson when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex!  No longer do I “sit on things” when I notice inconsistencies, I deal with them immediately…   now, this can be a good or bad thing… but men, y’all gotta stop with the bullshit!  

This brings me to another experience that continues to baffle the hell outta me!   Now, I met this dude online, (hmmm could the common thread be INTERNET MEN) he appeared to be a decent dude, had nice conversation etc… god fearing, kid loving, and a freak…  not nasty, but a freak…   so as I get to know this dude I found myself getting more and more comfortable with sharing something’s that were going on with me…  my sharing was nothing more than getting shit off my chest, I didn’t want or expect him to do shit about my situation…  and suddenly, he decided he wants to help me…  and I was more than appreciative…  now dude gives me all these damn dates, as to when he’s gonna do x,y and z…  and it never happens!   One thing after another…   and he too can’t acknowledge shit…   lawd help me what is goin on with men today!  Now, when I call him out on his shit, cuz for real it was a great deal of shit….  Lie after lie, from Victoria's Secret to cell phones, to birthday gifts and some other insignificant shit (which is the real clincher!  This is all insignificant shit, but a mass of insignificant shit can lead to a BIG problem)  I decided it was time to speak on his shit…  and dude tells me that “I appear to be the kind of woman that keeps a tally of everything a person tells them”…  now is that not how shit works? But on another note, if ya ass was real with ya shit, I wouldn’t be keeping tally!  Hells don’t trip on me; look at self… any who isn’t that human nature to remember what folks tell you?  Especially the “important” shit?  So I called him out, and dude goes on to say that, he’s a man of his word, and low n behold, he still ain’t kept his word, and  the dude had the nerve to lie and say it’s in the mail!  Now, why couldn’t he just be upfront and say, I can’t do it?  *smh*  Lol, what is that?  Now the killer is this; in both of these situations, this is a case of niggaz putting their damn foot in there mouth!  I’m not asking for a lot…  I only ask that you be real, and stop with the bullshit!   I mean damn, it’s one thing to communicate and another thing to over communicate…   now, the sad thing about this dude is his mouth pretty much fucked up a blooming friendship…  rest assured he won’t see it that way…  they never do! 

Listen, if you can’t do something, just say it, and dammit, don’t go volunteering shit, when you know damn well; you can’t make it happen… 

Lawd help me…  I feel better!  

All that to say this, I refuse to tolerate bullshit from the old or the new… come correct or don’t come at all, and if you come at me with the bullshit, I will call you on it, with NO hesitation…

I am learning more and more that sex without emotion is some emotionless ass sex… it brings me no satisfaction what so ever… it’s merely a fuck, a lay…

No matter how much I may feel a dude, or should I say that no matter how much a dude may get my panties wet, if I’m not mentally connected to him on SOME level, once again I’m back to square one…  emotionless ass sex… then it becomes a questions of…..  WHY?  (Why mutha fucka, WHY!)

I am a dominant, sexually aggressive, controlling bitch… at the end of the day, if we’re going to tap dance around role playing, I really need the delivery to be STRONG… or I will take you and your message as a JOKE….  And, we really don’t want that, because then, it becomes a power struggle, and then folks wanna get all bent outta shape…  and for me, it’s just fuel to my “I’m running the mutha fuckin show” fire…

With all that said… thoughts of submission enter my psyche on the regular!   Lol  (how fuckin crazy is THAT?)

It’s not my goal to impress anyone; I impress myself daily by waking my ass up, coming to this bullshit ass temp job, where I make pennies, and maintaining a damn smile!   On top of that coming home to a child that has recently found joy in asking me: What Would Jesus Do? (John, Jesus would pray!  Now go clean ya damn room, before Jesus takes ya lil ass HOME)

I’m finding that as the weather turns warmer my pussy gets wetter… now my questions is this? Is the pussy wetter cuz it hotter?  Or is it wetter, cuz the grown and sexy are comin out of hibernation?

A year ago, all I wanted was a MAN… a fully functioning, verbally aggressive, goal oriented man… today; I don’t give it much thought!   I mean granted the idea of being in love, and having a special someone would be the piece de resistance of my so called life…  but, on the real, I can’t even think of a relationship until Teal, is right… 

In all my 41 years, I have sat back and watch folks in relationships, it started with my mom and dad, and now I look at my friends, and if I know nothing, I know this... There is no way in hell you can be in a complete, loving, fulfilling relationship, if your emotional house is NOT in order… and for the record, if you think having a man is going to help you, get your shit together, than I hate to tell ya this, you are CONFUSED!

I have never been rich, but I have been comfortable, in fact, VERY comfortable... I’ve never been poor, but I’ve been dirt broke (there’s a difference when you have property, house rich, cash poor!)… And lemme tell y’all one damn thing, I will never, ever, ever, be dirt broke again...  that shit is for the fuckin birds!  All the smiles in the world will never fill pockets filled with dust...  fuck that!

I will never understand people who marvel in their own misery… man get up off ya ass and make it fuckin happen!   Listen we all have our moments, hell I had a 9 month moment, but dammit I’m tired of “whoa is me”…  after while, no one wants to hear that shit, and then they start to look at you on some: bitch snap da fuck out of it!  Lol, I’m laughing at myself… pathetic never looked good on me!

The temp whore has a fuckin job, making the loot she is use to making!   I may be pinching pennies for a moment, but dammit, I’ll be back on track soon…   what the ex-temp whore is really happy about is, health insurance!   Can you say a bitch is broke da fuck up… and my baby, lawd help me, my baby…  “Yo John, we’s goin to the beach this summer, and it will NOT be a DAY trip… and we WILL go more than once…  wooohooo”!   lol, lawd help me, I am soooo happy…

*tear drop*

I’mma leave ya’ll with some foul ass only Teal would do kinda shit…   Friday nite, I was at home, chilling…  I took off my jeans , and I left them on the bathroom floor…  minutes later I go back to the bathroom, and I see the cat luxuriating in the crotch of my jeans…  before I finish keep in mind that I was a lil twisted…  sooo, I was like: oh, you like the way my pussy smells huh?  Well then, lemme hook your ass up!  So, ummm, why did I take off my thong, and throw that shit in the crotch of the jeans for some flavor that the cat could REALLY savor?  SHE LOVED IT…  didn’t cry AT ALL…  Yes, I got issues, and no, you will NOT call the humane society!  Cuz, I loves my ‘pussy’ cat, and my ‘cat’ loves my pussy!   Lol,  I swore I would not share this story with another human being,  but I couldn’t help myself!  Shut up Tenay…   lol

Guess what, I got a job!   (cheezin my caramel ass off!)

One mo’ thang…  Man I started bloggin simply to rejoice in my Papi escapades…  soon after that it became a way to rant and rave about my Papi disappointments…  after while, I realized that I was building my own lil net family….  You guys, yes, YOU, have been there for me during the toughest of times, from emotional breakdowns, to financial troubles!   The Teal that sits here today, and writes this blog, must thank the good people of 360!... especially those of you who have really had my back thru thick and thin, y’all know who you are… You are appreciated! Thank you all for the blessings, love, and most importantly prayer… 

finally 2008 is shaping into something beautiful, hmmmm, maybe I can focus on a man again…  NOT!

*muah*

…before I get into this here blog, lemme share one detail, this here blog, is a blog with NO substance, NO rhyme, No reason! 

 I was always taught that when you’re making purchases, and spending your hard earned money, you want quality over quantity…

…my first job was at the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum as a cashier…  I was in the 10^th grade.  Man, you couldn’t tell me shit. I made all of $6.25 per hour… and I was NOT working at McDonald’s, like some of my friends…  the sole purpose of the job was to SHOP, and have FUN… when I got my first check I wanted to SHOP till I DROPPED…  you see I wore a uniform every day, and I wanted to wear the cute hip stuff my friends wore, and of course my momma wasn’t haven’t anything to do with that, she didn’t do “trends”…  she had a VERY structured, borderline preppy look for me…  so I get the first check, and mom says: “Teal, you need to pay yourself, and you need to save, you’ll be going away to college in a few years, and you’ll want your own money”  (she ain’t neva lied, cuz I swear they sent my to Oklahoma, and forgot about my ass until Christmas)... All I knew is I wanted to get my shop on!  At the time my mom was a big Bloomingdales, Garfinkels (old school DC department store!  DMV, y’all remember the flagship store on 14^th and F right?), Woodward and Lothrop kinda chick, and I knew from my weekly shopping missions with her, that I could not afford those stores…  it was NOT an option! 

…before I go any further, my biggest mistake was NOT listening to her when she said, “pay yourself first”… that was the beginning of my money mismanagement issues…  any who, I was determined to buy some damn clothes, and since I couldn’t afford the stores she shopped at on my lil paycheck, I headed to Lerner’s!  Remember Lerner’s ladies?  I think it’s called New York and Company today...  I made my purchases and skipped my happy none fat ass home!   Man, you couldn’t tell me shit…  I was on such a high!  then I walked in the door, and here comes the voice of reason, my damn momma! “Let me see what you have”?  First off when she saw the bag, her nose was all turned da fuck up!  (Truth be told I kinda do that shit, also.  But, I got it from her)...  she asked to see what I purchased, and I gladly showed her…  cuz, I was PROUD!   Hell I got it with my own money, and I was able to pick out my own shit, without her negative comments… can I just tell you that she shocked the shit out of me, and complimented me on my purchases…  and then she dropped the bomb!  I remember it like it was yesterday…  “Very nice pieces Teal.  But, quality over quantity”...  I swear her voice went into a baritone state when she said; QUALITY OVER QUANTITY” she went on to say that when you purchase good classic pieces, they will last you a lifetime… she told me that the items that I had purchased would not last past a year for two reasons, they were cheap, poorly made clothes, and, they were “trendy”….  

…low n behold, a “few” washings, and dry cleanings later, spring turned into summer, and low and behold the shit, was some shit!  And from that moment on I learned that quality beats quantity anyday… she taught me how to appreciate how clothes were made, and to appreciate how slacks were to fit a woman’s body… and, she “was” a diva (now, she’s a retired Birkenstock, dreadlocked, good clothes wearing earthy kinda woman, but still a diva!), and I was her trainee…   on another note, I must mention the seeds..  My daughter is OFF da chain, real FASHIONISTA, where as I prefer more classic timeless pieces… but my son, oh boy, I feel sorry for his wife or girlfriend, cuz lil man will break shit down for a sista!  “You don’t match”…  “Momma those shoes don’t look right” … “momma those heels make your legs look purrty” … I swear he is my BIGGEST critic! 

…but, back to my momma, I can’t help but wonder if she understands that she created this monster? 

Any who, on to the subject of the bog… you know me, I always got to give a ill history! 

Soooooo… last night as I lie across my bed, I did what I always do…  I drew a mental picture of what I was gonna wear to work…  I decided on my favorite pair of black slacks!  Every girl has a pair…  the ones that fit you just right, the ones that give you that extra swagger, the ones that you would KILL for…  mine are my beloved Donna Karan’s…  now, I’m not talkin DKNY, nor am I talkin Donna Karan sport…  I’m talking Donna Karan black label, $400.00 slacks!  Man, I love these damn slacks… I purchased these slacks in 1995, I was working at Neimans part-time, simply to feed my shopping habit, and I got the pants on sale, and with my discount, the bitches still cost me $285.00…  you couldn’t tell me nothin!  

… a year ago, I started to notice that the silk lining was starting to show signs of wear and tear…  but I kept wearing them, hell it was just the lining…   I wore them last week for the first time in awhile, and as I was walking I could feel the lining doing STRANGE things, a sign that it was time to let them go…  in an effort to save my beloved Donna Karan slacks, I took my ass to the tailor, and asked her what could be done!  She laughed, and told me to cut the lining out, and then she complimented the cut, texture, and craftsmanship!  Dammit, I knew these shits were the bomb, and worth keepin… 

So here I sit today, in my damn slacks, and I honestly think, they will have to be placed in the 3^rd closet (the, I can’t possibly throw THAT away closet)...  granted, they still look good, and I still look good in them, but the damn things are 13 years old… and since I cut out the lining, they don’t feel right!  Now, they still look good on me, but, they are hanging on by a thread...  my babies are dying on me…

So this is my ode to my Donna Karan slacks… oh how I love thee… You took me from winter to summer and still looked good… from no panties at all, to thongs, to my boy cut shorts, you made my ass look like a coffee cup stop…   from Sunday brunch, to Monday’s staff meeting, you always stood out, and filled in whateva clothing blank!   I thank you Donna Karan slacks, for you have served me well, and If nothing else, I gots my money worth…

Ok, I’m trippin, but I swear I am emotionally attached to these bitches!   And the thought of giving up one of my first “major” clothing purchase is making me a lil sad…   but, I will survive, because at the end of the day… it’s just a piece of textile! 

But boy did they make me smile!  Lol

So, if u made it this far, tell me about your “favorite” luxury item..  Do u agree in quality over quantity or do you prefer a mass of whateva?  

…i’m that chick that was raised in the hood, amongst my people… however I defiantly didn’t fit in with my neighborhood mix… you see, I was the little girl who had two successful, professional working parents… daddy the doctor, and mommy the teacher turned administrator. Man, my neighbors gave me the fuckin’ blues! I got chased home daily from school, and my mother did not allow me to play with the neighborhood kids… I would look out my window and watch the neighborhood kids play there neighborhood games, and I was always drawn to them, and their way of living… to me it appeared that although they had much less than me, they had a youthful spirit that I lacked… here I was stuck in the damn house cuz my momma, didn’t want me picking up on bad habits! Now don’t get me wrong, being the parent of a future world leader, I can feel her on her decision… but damn, it sure would’ve been nice to be outside jumpin rope and shootin the bo-bo, instead of ballet practice, piano practice, and whole slew of other extra curricula activities that my momma had me involved in…

…yet in still there was still that desire to play with the so called undesirable… now granted, I continued to watch from afar… I also went on with my life, college, decent career (that I hate), and very well versed in every subject! I pride myself on being the girl that can mix well in any environment from the Country Club to Berry Farms (the projects!), I guess the beauty of my up bringing is the ability to wear those many hats, and still stay true to myself without looking as if I don't fit in… today, I go to my old neighborhood, I see the same kids, now all grown up, raising there kids in their momma’s house, playing the same games, collecting welfare… Maybe momma new best, cuz goodness knows, that could possibly be me… but damn, it was sure fun watching from afar!

…this brings me to today’s topic, and the old saying: “opposites attract”… as I’ve gotten older and matured, I’m realizing that this is a very true statement… the good girl always wants the bad boy, I know I did, and I still do! I’m the girl who went to the prissy catholic schools wore the cute plaid uniforms and was always attracted to the boy who went to public school and usually played hooky every other day… in the beginning it was strictly because mom and dad didn’t approve, as I grew older it became a matter of pure attraction… now, I must admit, I can really appreciate a man with a lil thug in him… my preference: business man by day, rockin’ timbs at nite… now, don’t get me wrong, cause I can also appreciate my non timb boot wearing brotha’s but, damn those timb boots, something about these dudes, that got an extra flava to them… the confidence they exude, and the sexual energy they transmit, is second to none…

…what is it about opposites? Could it be that they possess a quality that I don’t have? That fearless approach to life… I ponder this every so often… when I think of my Vanilla man, I think Vanilla sex… just as cold and boring as his business suit and his day-to-day life… but, when I think of my timb boot wearing businessman, I get chills down my spine imagining the possibilities! Something about sex with a ruff neck… the way they take ownership of the pussy upon there intial meeting… hmmm, the way he spends what seems like hours exploring every crevice of this sweet tasting pussy… the way they savor these tits as if they’ve been suckin’ on them since birth, starting oh so slow and gentle, building up to that steady, and heavy grip that I enjoy so much... and the way they manipulate this ass sucking and licking on it as if they’re attempting to produce the unmentionable… it’s the toughness of the ruff neck, that turns me on so… you see when I fuck my ruff neck, my man with that edge, he takes control, allowing me to sit back and enjoy every moment of our time together without my having to give one directive… you see, when i'm fuckin him, i'm no longer teachin', i'm preachin' praising him for all his glory...

…now, don’t get mami wrong, I know how to appreciate my quiet unassuming freaks, but hey, call me biased, my experience has taught me that a man with a little street in him, will fuck you like he’s taking every wrong the street has done to him and releasing it inside of my juicy ass pussy! …straight fuckin me with passion, and determination… damn, I love that shit!

…yes, I’ll take the ruff neck anyday!

Coming, soon my other weakness: “men in positions of power”… and, no, I’m not talking about the power of being “master”, I’m talking your C.E.O.’s and V.P.’s… damn, damn, damn! Hmmm, my pussy gets wet just thinking about that shit…

lata babies...

...since the guys came thru on the last blog, I thought it was only fair that I post a blog on what women want! The "what men want" blog was inspired by a poll that was posted on AOL’s home page... As I read the comments from the various guys, I started to give further thought regarding what Ms Teal wants in a man... I’ve blogged about this time and time again... My requirements are pretty simple... But, I’m interested in knowing what other ladies want in a man...

Have I mentioned that I work in HELL.. Well, if I haven’t lemme tell ya, I WORK IN HELL… I’m in a call center, with some funky ass, ghetto ass folks who don’t have a clue about customer service..  as I sit here and type this, there are 10 calls in queue…  I have been answering the phones ALL damn morning, and as of right now, I’m DONE, and now I’m blogging…  fuck’em!

The other night AOL posed a question on the home page…

What do men REALLY want?

A good mind…

A good cook…

Or

A good piece of ass…

Actually they said, great sex, but for real, this is my world, and a “piece of ass” sounds better!

So, as I sit here, watching this light blink like crazy, I can’t help but wonder, what is it a man really wants!  The poll states that a man wants great sex…  I tend to believe that, but sex don’t pay the bills, and sex can’t feed you!  Well, ummm, I guess it can, but ya’ll know what I mean…

So talk to me peeps!  I wanna hear from ALL of you, but especially the men, what do y’all really want>

I guess you’d like to know what I think?  Well, I think they want all of the above, a great mind, a great cook, and a great piece of ass…  not necessarily in that order, but you get the point!  I also think men want a friend!  Someone that will be there, when all hell break loose….  Filling him with positive thoughts (great mind) a full belly (great cooking), and some bomb ass deep throatin head (great sex)…  I think the biggest issue is finding all these qualities in one woman!  Me personally, I can’t cook worth a damn, but you best believe I make it look like I can cook…  schwans.com baby!  You betta ask somebody…

*wink*

Talk to me babies…

This blog was inspired by real life events and most recently tonites Prime Time Live...

...While in college my best friend Jackie developed Lupus... after being diagnosed, she became deathly ill, pretty much immobile... During this time she was dating a guy, and pretty much lived with him... When she fell ill, he took damn good care of her, fed her, bathed her, and medicated her... He pretty much stood by her side, which was shocking considering he was a man, and a very young man, and it was very early in their relationship... While he was in class her soror’s and myself would take care of her... I began to notice one of her soror’s took extra care of her... She would sleep over, and watch over her just like a sister... In the meantime, she was fucking her man... Lovin him up in the next bedroom... I always felt something strange was going on, and it would eat me alive... Finally people started to come and tell me about ole boy, and ms thang... They would see them out and about in the next town, at the movies, or in the grocery store all coupled up... After while, they were no longer hiding it, it soon became a "public affair"...

...When I started to see it for myself, I was dumb founded... So, I immediately call my mother... Lawd, I remember it like it was yesterday... If I close my eyes, I can see myself standing in the hallway on the 4^th floor pay phone of Young Hall, at good ole Langston University (Oh the memories of ole Young Hall)... Any who, moms told me, NOT to say a thing! She went on to say that if I value this friendship, and wanted to maintain the friendship, I would keep my mouth shut, and be there for her when and if she needed me...

...We argued about this for over an hour! How could I her best friend, hang out with her knowing that her man is fuckin her soror, right under her nose? I didn’t know what to do, but, I knew I couldn’t tell her while the Lupus was kicking her in the ass... And I had also hoped that, once she got better, the craziness with him and ms thang, would end...

...Well, a few months later, the Jackie I knew and loved returned and she was her normal spunky, fun loving self... She and ole boy flourished, and so did he and ms thang! The rumors continued to fly around our small little HBCU, and soon at this point I felt it was my duty to tell her...

...Biggest mistake of my life... ya know, sometimes, momma really does know best! After telling my friend of 12 years of his dirty deed, she kicked my ass to the curb for 2 years... I was devastated, losing her, was like losing a sister... Although we recovered, and quickly got back to where we were, we still lost two years... And of course, I had no clue that she would die 8 years later, now, I feel like those two years without her, was a lifetime...

...It’s funny, but all women say they want to know if there significant otha, boyfriend, husband or lover is cheating on them, but I firmly believe that not all women really want to know...

...The following semester, I left good ole Oklahoma and headed to UMES in Princess Anne, Md, I formed a friendship with a girl that till this day we are still friends, although we aren’t speaking right now, I know she would stop drop and roll for my ass... as the friendship flourished post college, we broaden our friendship base, in total there are 6 of us... Back in the day, are weekends would consist of getting twisted and clubbing,... One particular get twisted night, we got to talking about men, and cheating, and we vowed that no matter what if we were aware of one of our other friends mates cheating, we would, step to the friend and inform them, of there mans behavior... 10, possibly 12 years later, I know for a fact that one of the girls husbands is having a long term long distance relationship... Another ones man cheats on the regular, and uses his job as an excuse, and he has actually made a move or two on me! Although he was tipsy, we all know a drunk mind speaks, and acts the sober truth... And lastly, I’ve had one other girlfriend who’s man has made many a move on me.. Actually at least 3 of her previous men have made moves on me... One dude she met on a cruise ship, and told both of us, that I was the one he wanted, and every time he got drunk he made it VERY clear, in his slick, fucked up manly way...

...Now, knowing what I know from my past experience, I have NOT said shit to any of these friends... Now, some of you may say: what a fucked up friend she is! But, in knowing these women, I feel that I have made a wise decision...

...For me, the key in telling a friend about her cheating man, is knowing the friend! Knowing how she would take it, and how she would go about approaching him, and the situation... I’m the kind of chick that wants to know, and on the real, I usually know when my man is cheating, my gut NEVER lies... Yes, I would be devastated, but at the same time, I know how to play the game... See, I’m the kinda woman who would keep that information, and build my case... Once I have enough evidence, then, and only then would I approach my man... These friends of mine, would immediately go into attack and approach mode... And when you do that, you leave your self open for the bullshit... A smart man will work that shit! Especially if the friend who shared knowledge of the cheating mans way is single, such as myself.. See, if your single and you have married or committed friends, the cheating man always makes the single girlfriend out to be jealous, or a hater... So, I’m careful when it comes to spilling the beans about my friends man... It’s a matter of knowing your friend, and knowing how she would take it, and how she would handle it... But, best believe when the deal goes down, I’m right by her side, helping her in anyway possible to lift her from the ashes...

...I personally don’t believe in breaking up happy homes... Now if girlfriend is feeling something ain’t right, then yes, i’mma spill the beans, but, if things appear to be healthy, and she’s genuinely happy, then I’m staying out of it...

...So tell me, ladies and gents, would you air the dirty laundry, and keep his dirty lil secret, or would you come clean with, risking years of friendship? Is my way of thinking fucked up? Be real with me, I wanna know what you think!

Talk to me peeps, Ms Teal is on a need to know basis... And I needs to know!

*wink*

post scripts and so called after thoughts:  i can't help but wonder how we as men and women would handle the situation if your  friend has a "good man" or "good woman" and they are cheating on them...  is it different?  as a friend would we speak to the friend regarding his or her actions , or would we speak to the clueless significant otha?  or would we sit back and shut da fuck up?  hmmmm! no matter how you cut it, this is a tricky ass situation!